your friends...

anyway... here is a good poem for you people who never attend adult svc... think about it. and check your own response to your friends here on earth... :

"MY FRIEND"
My Friend, I Stand In Judgement Now
And Feel That You're To Blame Somehow
On Earth I Walked with You Day By Day
And Never Did You Point The Way

You Knew The LORD In Truth And Glory
But Never Did You TellThe Story
My Knowledge Then Was Very Dim
You Could Have Led Me Safely ToHIM

Though We Lived Together On The Earth
You Never Told Me Of The Second Birth
And Now I Stand This Day Condemned
Because You Failed To Mention HIM

You Taught Me Many Things, That's True
I Called You Friend, I Trusted You
But I Learn Now That It's Too Late
You Could Have Kept Me From This Fate

We Walked By Day And Talked By Night
And Yet
You Showed Me Not The Light
You Let Me Live And Love And Die
You Knew
I'd Never Live On High

Yes, I Called you Friend In Life
And Trusted You Thru Joy And Strife
And Yet, On Coming To The End
I Cannot Now Call
You My Friend

[The Author Is Unknown]

i have a dream.

hmmm...

i wonder...

if a certain dream (or dreams) i had recently meant anything.

i dreamt that my muslim classmate was speaking to me, while we were going home frm sch.... and he said to me " i really very interested in christianity, i have been thinking about life issues, and stuff. ur religion really makes sense." and he went on to ask theological questions.

it did seem very very real!

though not the 1st, this was another of those dreams where i wake up, wondering if it's real or a dream.

this will make the "dreams-that-felt-so-real-and-spoke-to-me" list to 5.



and i wonder also if writing this post will put me in trouble also....

"... seems so far.... "

"... God, You seem so far away
a thousand miles or so each day..."

when i say i know what you mean by " God seems far away", i mean it.

but, as people always say... " who moved? you, or God", i know it's true also, that it is i.

why so?

cos recently ( or rather for the past whole month), this has been my spiritual life.

like i said in my previous post, i did nothing to remedy it.

i don't usually do this.

but can u pray for me?

addressing

was i blinded?

not literally.

but you know what i mean.

but.. blinded by what?

align="left">i still not sure myself.

was it the assignments, reports and tests (a great way to start the year) that were stressing me out?

was it a quarrel?

was it the fact that i am (and still) disappointed with myself, regarding issues yet to be addressed (and no... not the place of habitation) ?

was it tiredness?

numbness?

weariness?

was it cos i never set out to start what i had commited to do?

was it cos i have made some bloody wrong mistakes before?

why did i commit to this when i knew it would drain me?

why had i pressed on when people around me quitted?

why did i give up when everyone persevered?

what lies ahead for this ministry?

with figures of authority not setting THE example.

with no clear indication what is ahead.

with almost everyone outgoing or non-committed, or M.I.A.

while those FEW who remain.....

sigh

sigh

maybe my way of defence is to escape and not think about it.

or rationalise until things go in my favour.

talk about being in tune with God.

I wish i was.

like then.

or did it even happen?

i don't know.

i know where the problem is.

i know i gotta address these various issues of mine.

i know God has a plan for me.

i know this and that facts.

what do i do about it?

nothing.

in fact, gets worse.

but i am feeling better, as contrast to what you've just read at the top part of this entry. i was numb, tired, weary the past month. going thru day by day like an aimless scum wandering in the desert.... erm.. ok, not the best analogy to describe, but cant think of anything better.

i believe it's God's grace.

but it's time i REALLY stop taking His grace for granted.

and to also start to see His other aspects.

loving, caring, accepting,... the 'soft' side to God, and not only His graciousness and judgement.

someone recently pointed it
out to me........ ....... ....... .......

starting good... should finish good? right?

for me? no...

start good, finish lousy.

don't know what i am talking about?

neither do i.

oh, and a cliche for you:

"have a blessed new year ahead! i hope in the year ahead, you grow closer to HIM."

but... i really do mean it...

don't wanna be trapped.

" if the devil can't slow you down, he'll speed you up."

i don't want to fall into the trap!!!!

can i last thru?

will i be able to last thru?
will i be burnt out?
should i give up?

give up what?

which?

darn.

what if i do?
what if i don't?

why is this happening now?
why am i so weary?

why do i have to wait till a "revelation", till i give up something, that i should have a long time ago?
why did i linger on in the meaninglessness of it, hoping the outcome will be something i wished, and dreamed?
how stoopeed of me to have done so.

why?





can i last thru?

YOU know the way out...

there are many people in a building...

it's on fire.

imminent death by roasting (or fried, or barbequed) is inevitable.

but........ ....

there is one way out of this.

but only YOU know about it.

what do you do?

sneak out by that way, without telling the rest, and then shut the way tight?




or tell the rest about this way out?
with great urgency of course.

erm....

qn: what do you blog when u have nothing left to blog?
ans: fulfill some stupid quiz, everyone was doing one month ago...


7 things that scare me:
1: the wrath of God.
2: the potential that our fart is flammable, and explosive...
3: your body odour
4: erm... you???
5: boo!
6: a thing that scares me.
7: something else that scares me.


7 things i love the most:
1: God.
2: Praising Him
3: the potential that our fart is flammable, and explosive...
4: being serious.
5: being lame.
6: sweet foods
7: love?


7 important things in my room:
1: the floor.
2: the ceiling.
3: the walls. [quite obvious right??? if not no room at all... duh!]
4: my bed.
5: my car
6: my lion [for MY lunch....]
7: that guy sleeping. [i.e: me!]


7 random facts about me:
1: i am random.
2: i am not random.
3: i am as random as i seem.
4: i am not as random as i seem.
5: really... i am and am not random.
6: it is a fact.
7: it is?


7 things i wanna do when i die:
1: meet God
2: Praise Him!
3: praise Him!
4: praise Him!
5: praise Him!
6: praise Him!
7: praise Him!


7 things i can do:
1: do this stupid quiz.
2: complement others?
3: flush down a whole dustbin's contents [somehow containing an undie] into the toilet bowl, with a friend of course....
4: sleep everyday
5: eat everyday
6: piss everyday
7: shit everyday


7 things i can't do yet:
1: drive
2: know everything.. duh!
3: forget about that flushing-down-the-contents incident....
4: sleep non-stop
5: eat non-stop
6: piss non-stop
7: shit non-stop


7 words i say the most:
1: "erm"
2: "urm"
3: "huh???"
4: "right"
5: "ok"
6: "hmm?"
7: "hmmmmmm..."


7 celeb crushes:
1: lime crush
2: crushed ice
3: crushed crush?
4: rush
5: brush
6: blush
7: slush


7 peeps i'd love to see doing this:
1: Peeping Tom
2: Peeping Harry
3: Mrs Sir
4: Mr Miss
5: Mark Cheong (OI!! two calls liao! hahahaha)
6: YOU!
7: Your hamster. (no hamster??? go buy one... NOW!)



erm... Jon.... Don't you LMAO (Loving Mickeymouse's Arbituary Osteoporisis) . or LAMO. or LOMA. or whatever.

complacent?

complacency is not good.

repeat after me, kids:

"complacency

is

not

good...."

good!

sooo clever.

i'm sure it's a known fact...

"yah... like.... DUH???!!??!!?? but... i'm pretty sure nothing bad will happen... i'm sure it'll be good days forever! no need to work hard lah... God will be gracious, and bring us out of any troubles... cheerios!"

does NOT seem like you?

"of course"

complacency.

over-confidence.

conceited.

i have gone thru the consequences of these, quite a fair bit....

repented...

but...

but....

have i "turned from my wicked ways"?

is it true to say "once bitten, twice shy. twice bitten, never try"?

maybe....

maybe not...

its not like i havent learnt..

but...

complacency can come in the form of lies and/or half-truths and sooth you, make you feel good and...

tempt you.

(isn't all temptations to sin like that???)

complacency....

don't we singaporeans sometime feel it's so so safe... that we disillusion ourself that we are some superpower?

that just because we are mostly shielded from most natural disasters, does not mean that we wont experience any...

recently in the papers.. a report said that some guy predict that if the epicentre (the point where earthquakes start or something liddat lah... ) moves up north from the previous one, which caused the recent tsunami, nearer india... a tsunami will hit malaysia, and.... singapore...

scary huh?

imagine...

one day.. one normal day... everything as usual....

then u look out the window...

and got this 12-storey high wave in front of you.....

you go... "wah...awesome..." (then go take photo with friends... with two fingers at your eyebrow, tongue sticking out, and one leg up in typical kawaii style.... :D :D )

and next thing you know....

you're dead.

singapore is no longer existent... because we've been wiped out...

all in a day....

don't be complacent....

don't be complacent that nothing bad will ever happen to you...

don't be complacent that you will wake up tomorrow, alive.

don't be complacent that we will always have peaceful times.

don't be complacent that your friends will be friends in the long run.. for we are all only human, and are prone to falter... and thus may not be the friend he/she you expect.

don't be complacent that you will not be disappointed.

don't be complacent that you will not have any warfare.

don't be complacent about what God has done for you... don't take His grace for granted.

don't be.

easy to say "don't be complacent".

hard to do "don't be complacent".

who am i to say this?

trust

how much do you trust those among you???

how much do you trust your classmates?

how much do you trust your friends?

how about your closer friends?

and your closest friends?

and for some of us, your stead?


and ultimately, how much do you trust God?