Success is the global iron-bowl of society, especially in this region, especially in our little independent city. It brought us survival, comfort, brought us a good standing internationally. Competition has always been needed in macro-economies historically.
But the reason the social services exists (and thus I have a
job), because you and I know while we make success our core life modus
operandi, there exists many who may never do so because of mental &
physical illness, disability, environment, systemic poverty, trauma, abuse etc.
etc.
This writer never really aced his academics, never really
had promotions, never won awards. There may be a plethora of reasons, some of
us too never succeeded. Chronic trauma? Excuses to not try? Being told its
wrong to succeed? Refusing to believe that you can succeed? Plain ol’ laziness?
In short: I never really been on the end of succeeding spectrum, never had the
need, nor want to prove myself, never wanted to be the very best that no one
ever was. Maybe it was the laisser-faire way I was brought up, hence never had
the need to prove and compete. (Of course it presents a whole hosts of problems
in adulthood.)
Here have been some lessons that I learnt over the years of
being at a weak place.
Never Succeeding is actually good because when good roles
happens to you, it is evidently God’s grace unwarranted on you, and it is a
stewardship to be held in sacred trust.
The first two kings of Israel, King Saul and King David, did
not seek elections, boost their portfolios, or gave enticing speeches to prove
that they have the mettle to be king. But the Lord chose, and anointed them
thru Samuel, the prophet.
(See 1Sam chapters 9, 15, 16, 23-24, 31)
Saul began to believe it was his own charisma, his six-pack
hot physique, and fantastic battle skills that made him king, and he embraced
the lie. The lie also embraced him, till his already-insecure soul walked deep
into the fiery abyss and entered darkness. His murderous insecurity resulted in
his own death.
David was anointed king decades before he even became king,
during Saul’s reign. A childhood in the fields as a shepherd, his dad even
almost forgot he existed. Or if he did remember, dismissed him to be of any
worth. Like a typical Asian, Jesse (David’s dad) was overjoyed that his family
was chosen to produce the next king and of course, displayed his alpha-male
sons. Strong, muscular, I imagine they also probably aced their exams, were
probably prom kings, and are serving as elite commanders in Saul’s army. “Of course God will choose my sons”, beamed
Jesse’s subconscious, “they are the best.
I raised them for such a day indeed”.
Even Samuel wanted these guys and exclaimed “Here he is!
God’s anointed! ( 1 Sam16:6 MSG) but “the LORD sees not as man sees – man looks
on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1Sam16:7ESV). The
Lord then chose the youngest, David, to be king.
David did succeed in his time as King. And exceedingly so!
But it was from the knowledge that God chose, God allowed his success, and that
David was to hold his role (successful as it is), in a sacred stewardship.
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The Blessing of Weakness is knowing you utterly
do not deserve it, knowing the Lord gives you this opportunity, to be a part of
his great plan and to be his co-ministers and co-shepherds.
Never Succeeding is actually good because in the depths
of weakness, you realise, the Lord never left you.
Throughout David’s reign, it wasn’t all perfect though. He
did mess up several times. Often, by swimming in his fame, and indulging his
ego by self-crediting his success.
But throughout, King David was enabled by God to repent; and
repent often, did David choose. In his psalms, it was in the anguish, the
broken-ness, being flattened by failure, betrayals, pride that David was once
again at the place where he knows, again and again, the LORD is his Shepherd,
he lacks no good thing. It was in the most extreme circumstances of failure,
abuse, loss, betrayal that some of David’s most beautiful psalms were written,
all prophetic, about a future Saviour who fully understood what being weak
meant. (See Psalms 22)
The Lord then chose
him again, for another much more significant role. That he was to be a forebear
and foreshadow of that coming Messiah. The One who would be that Grand Grand
Blessing that was God’s message since the beginning. Simply because the Lord
chose.
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The Blessing of Weakness is knowing that your
weakness will never be wasted, but will in fact be used as a blessing to many.
Never succeeding is actually good because you are
confronted with the fact that you are really really undeserving.
Matthew may have grown up a street kid. Maybe his family was
nominal, just trying to eke a practical living. Maybe all his growing up years
was simply to try and survive and live in this cut-throat, over-competitive
world. Maybe he worked all kinds of jobs, gained some practical lifeskills, and
found a job with his brutal colonial masters. No one liked them, they were once
a free nation.
They remembered the golden ages of their nation when a
certain King David reigned. “Stuff of legends”, Matthew pushed the thought
away.
He was hated by his countrymen and often derided, “lackey
dog” of the Romans, among many, much more rude names. Doesn’t help that he and
his co-workers were adding their own “GST” and ripping his countrymen off.
Maybe his family was distant, maybe he was just on his own.
He had done harsh things in this harsh world. He has to.
He wasn’t part of the elite, ruling, religious segment of
society. He never will be.
He is a nominal person, who rips people off their
hard-earned money on a daily basis. Of course people hated him. He, too hated
himself. Maybe, nightly he would go home or to the temple and cry his heart out.
He knew his ethics was way off. Maybe he was taught he can never be pure, be
good and obey the law and be close to God and will probably die away from God
in Sheol. That was life, as I imagined for Matthew. Then…
“Later, as Jesus left the town,
he saw a tax collector named Levi (aka Matthew) sitting at his tax collector’s
booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left
everything, and followed him.
Later, Levi held a banquet in his
home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and
other guests also ate with them. But the Pharisees and their teachers of
religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and
drink with such scum?”
Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick
people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but
those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” (Luke 5:27-32 NLT)
It is not those who are healthy but those who are sick.
Those who know they need saving, that nothing they can do on their own merit
can bring them to God. It is here, in this state of weakness, we must come to
again and again, where we can say like King David did, “You are my help and
deliverer; o LORD, do not delay! (Psalms 70:5)”
Matthew followed Jesus in those three years. An experience
which changed his life forever. He knew now there was a message of Salvation,
of Daddy God’s love, that there was no sin to great for God to forgive, and no
life too messed up, too abused that God cannot transform and work with. The
Lord chose Matthew. The Lord transformed Matthew. And being one of the 12
apostles, Matthew went to places far and wide. Eventually being
martyred in Ethiopia. (include this link http://kotisatama.net/files/kotisatama/Tekstit_ja_kirjat/foxe.pdf).
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The blessing of weakness is knowing the strength
of God manifest daily in our weak lives and allows us to rely on Him moment by
moment, so he can transform us to the image of His Son.
Our salvation is a gift. Not something we can earn or
perform well for. Not something we worked for, but “He predestined us for
adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will
(Eph1:5ESV)”. Living daily in our
weakness, we allow Christ to be manifest in us. His Spirit enables us to live
that life conformed to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29), flowing from the Love
of the Father. So friends, be weak. And rely.
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