Monday, April 20, 2009

a leave i didnt ask for.

but was well spent.

this month they are clearing our leave so that we wont have any in december. =/ ohwells...

anyways... it was a great time meeting up with ian, then going to np's cca drive.
it is the familiar anyways.

the familiar cf life.

tian en was telling me how we as grads have a role to pray and a role to play, whatever that may be... good reminder...

am i juz holding on to a mere nostalgia or am i really spending my time well?
or am i?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Fridays

are the only consolation to a crappy week. not the best of companionship, but it'll suffice.

idt is now the spiritual refilling and companionship in a @#$%^ week.




TGIF.

fridays

are the only consolation to a crappy week. not the best of companionship, but it'll suffice.

idt is now the spiritual refilling and companionship in a @#$%^ week. so TGIF.








fridays

are the only consolation to a crappy week. not the best of companionship, but it'll suffice.

idt is now the spiritual refilling and companionship in a @#$%^ week. so TGIF.








Thursday, April 16, 2009

i am so...

out of touch.

out of synch.

i want to trust. i want to trust restedly.

i want to close with God and ppl again.

i want to be in the loop of cf again.

i long for friendships again.

oh God.

above all, i long to be close to You again.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

born to be free.freed to be born

i saw this boy having this tshirt in bluuurrr words
saying born to be free.

and in true 'this is that, that is this' fashion, i began to wonder if the reverse is true.

and it is.

born to be free. freed to be born.
today is easter.
but i guess, we must make good friday and easter an everyday affair...

:)





i sometimes wonder why am i so overtly christian on my blog, but cant even declare in real life.
i know God is real. and i have a relationship with Him.

and i guess alot of us met many pushy christians trying to push christianity down our throats and almost wanting u to believe straight away.

build relationships. thats something i am heavily influenced from cf.
build with the Builder, and with everyone that God puts in our way.


:)




is it wrong to wish for someone to be somewhere where that someone isn't there yet? is it faith or is it blind stupid optimism?
but yet you know that at times when you see that someone not at that somewhere where you hope someday that somebody will be at,
you realise you are just as bad.

but yet, you know there's a someOne, who will bring your someone to somewhere where that someone is supposed to be at in the first place. that doesnt stop you from not being frustrated though.

God uses imperfect ppl like you and me.

abraham, isaac, jacob were soo imperfect.
but they had faith. simple 'i believe' faith. really simple.
and simply cuz God chose them.

read somewhere how imperfect these 3 men were. abraham tried to hurry things his own way. isaac was almost passive. jacob was scheming against his dad, his uncle, and he showed favouritism among his wives and his kids. not the perfect husband and father it seems....

but they believed God.
the simple 'i believe You' faith.
the kind that is really so childlike so simple.

in that article i read, it also said how Abraham preceded Moses.
faith precedes knowing God.
thru simple faith first. then as you grow deeper in your faith, you begin to know and understand what God reveals to you.

and this simple true faith is the so called 'conversion experience'.



i begin to understand one more step deeper.




:)



heh i know those who aren't christian reading this is like, blur tiao by the time you reach this point. hor, bmt ppl? :P


oh wells.




:)



wishing and praying.

but trusting.commiting.delighting. is more needed.
and being still, knowing He is God, patiently.
and not fearing either. and not being wrathful either.

(ps37.3-8)




:)




please be God.
in my life.
You know my desire Lord. i wish for someone to be somewhere.
but i must trust.delight.commit.patiently.


:)



born to be free. freed to be born. "howcanibebornagain"
blessed, joyous easter'09 ;)

Sunday, April 05, 2009

040409

my new cg is bonding.

ok the ppl cant say, we're 'new' to each other, having known each other for YEARS.
and we bonded,
trying to catch pigeons at botanics.

failed.

maybe we'll fare better with the two black swans in the future ;)

at 21

in human development modules, 18-25 is the time when we choose between

intimacy

or

isolation.


and esp at the age of 21. esp at the age of 21, male, singaporean, in NS.


we all want intimacy. but isolation may or may not be inevitable.

unfortunately...

gah

ns has changed me.
for the worse.

my dog assigned this three months is called Euro. he's in an isolation kennel cuz, he's naiive enough to spin non stop, whacking its tail against the feed bowl, causing a bad wound. now that it's healed, it can't go back cuz top management forgot. its hardly around either.

maybe i am in an 'isolation kennel' of my own.