choose this day will you listen and obey?

FAITH IS NEEDED. When He takes something good, and promises

"for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which i sent you into exile."

Lord, am i in exile?
I have no choice but to let go!

It is not something that i want.
it never was in my plan.

Selfish i may have been on occasions, self serving have i lapsed.
but my commitment has always been to it.

Maybe too much, till it became idolatry.

I don't want to bury it.
I don't want to accept the fact that i need to give my life.
and that was my life.

Whoever loses his life for my sake will gain it, whoever gains his life will lose it, says my Lord.

It's His promise.

Like in Heb 6, Abraham walked because God promised.
He lived such dynamic life, only because GOD PROMISED.

people recognised him as a man of God and gave him what he wanted.

Lord i want that kind of life.

I don't to give up,
But i have to.

Sometimes before we come to the joyful place of 'i Get to', we have to go thru the 'i have to', ' i got to.'
And now i have to.
As of now, 'i have to' is the impetus.

a wise man, weilii, once said, "change will come when the pain of not changing exceeds the pain of change itself."

I have to.

It was 4 joyous years.
but i have to.
i don't want this to happen.
but i have to.

I have to buck up, as Uncle David chided me countless times in his honed, refined communication skills.

I am blessed.

I am helped.

No longer helpless i am, but helped i am.

"in Him my heart trusts, and i am helped." ~ps 28:7

Thank You for a good, nurturing workplace.
I need that before i go on to the real performance world.
At least now i am helped.

At level -10, i have alot to do when i should be at level 24.
while my friends are at level 24, and some reaching their destiny already at level 90, i at level -10, have LOTS, LOTS to do!

Fuji told us,
the glory of the LORD shines on us like the sun. Our head is still receiving the sunshine.
but because the sun shines, a shadow will be casted.

we can walk backwards away from the sun, and stare at the shadow.
The shadow will then overwhelm, and the world will be bleak, but only in our eyes.
Because it overwhelms us, we can start exalting it, and worshipping it.
The sun is STILL shining, but we are exalting the shadow.
Because our eyes are fixed on the shadow.

or we can choose to bask and enjoy the sun.
we don't deny that there is a shadow, but we live free from exalting the shadow. cuz we are meant to enjoy the sun.

That's his analogy for Once saved always saved.

how often do we focus on the shadow, when the sun is greater and surrounds us like everywhere?
all we see is the shadow, all we see is the blackness of the shadow, and with it, deceive ourselves that there is no light, all is black, i am a sinner, a sinner, a sinner, a sinner, a lousy sinner, a lousy sinner.
by basking in the sun, we don't deny our sinfulness, but we are declaring, that it is better to walk in the light. 1john 1:5

"Everybody Get Walkin'
By Jana Alayra.

Everybody get walkin'
Walkin' in the light,

in every little space, and every little minute of our lives,
Everybody get Livin'
Livin' more like Him,
to let the whole world know
HE HAS FORGIVEN ALL OUR SIN!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Choose this day, will you listen and obey
Choose what''s right, Get walkin' in the light
Choose this day will you listen and obey,
Choose what's right, Get walkin' in the light,
JESUS IS THE LIGHT!"


Such depth in a children song.
Such poignancy in a children dance song.

Lord,
i love You more than that.
help me Lord.
It is hard to sing I surrender All, because i loved that so much.
I still want that back, but Lord, help me!

choose this day, will you listen and obey?

just. a. rant.

Maybe it's the lack of purpose.
maybe it's sin?

Why the chaos? Why the making of chaos as if it is my best friend.

Living with it all my life, does that mean that it is what it is meant to be?
If Chaos is normal, then is normal abnormal?

in the chaos, in the confusion. Uncle Muntoh told me two things i can do.
Focus on the sin, the chaos, the addictions, or focus on Christ.
Both are choices. Both are equally real. Both with pain still very much present.
but one with Hope.

In our Chaos, in our sinfulness, in our addictions, what do we, i see?

Am i a sinner? or am i forgiven?
I choose to see which one I am, and live that way.

Nicodemus of the bible had so much knowledge it jammed his actions.
in that whole episode in John 3,
Jesus mentions the word 'believe' 7x. Compare this to the next chapter in John 4, with the Samaritan woman.. 'Believe' was mentioned once, while 'worship', 7x.

The Pharisee Nicodemus was a leader of the pharisees.
And he was told to believe.
Here was a man who wanted to believe, wanted to be with Jesus.
But wanted more knowledge, more information, to make a learned choice.
Being a learner all his life, he learnt, and learnt. and taught sometimes.
Led committees, led this led that.

And he needed to believe.

He didnt' dare leave what he was comfortable with, and only spoke up in soft way in John 7.
The only time he gathered the courage to do something that makes a difference for Jesus, is AFTER he died.

how long must we wait before we do something for Jesus?

Living, is believing. Believing is not what you say you believe, but what you do.

So check our actions. what have you been doing already???
That's what you already believe.

Don't bluff ourselves, that weu are Christian, a follower of God, an imitator of Christ.
we probably are self worshippers, sex worshippers, or music worshipppers or whatever.

Pharisee Nicodemus kept asking questions, to diffuse the limelight and the searching light of Christ from His own personal belief.

Until we are able to say what 'i' believe just seeing what we do, it will be the Great I worshipping you, god. so give me face and let me have what i think is what i feel is right. then i say god has the glory.

have i really believed?
have i been living what i believed?

if i believe that Jesus is the Son of God, do i live like Jesus has all authority?
if I believe that Jesus came to redeem, do i live like so?
if i believe that Jesus brings about transformation, whose first words in His ministry was 'repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near', do i live like so?

If we all live like what we believe, we won't recognise ourselves.

Most often, we want to retain what we think is familiar, simply cuz thats who we think 'we are'.
or 'i grew up like that what'.

we usually grow up far from who we truly are.

In living like Jesus is true, we grow closer to who we are supposed to be.
We don't change to be some nicer, more level-up version of ourselves.

And in this loss of purpose, the stuff all come back.

the focus is all gone, the addictions rule, the chaos is normal again.

Maybe one day, with a real sense of purpose, with a real calling.I want this one day soon!
I will not be who i am now.
The so-called Nuacodemus as called by my army friends and... yes my socalled closest friends.
will not be nua anymore.

The reason why isolation happens to anyone is no one's fault but your own.
it's a consequence that you should bear, a real consequence of something, some law of the world, that was crossed.

And it's about time that we learn not to expect some kind soul to have 'compassion' on us and rescue us.

Pain is purifying.
We forget that we were punished when we were children, but the real times (amidst the not-rea timesl) we received proper discipline, we know that it caused us to be better.

In relieving someone of his discipline and consequence, is to not love him in the long run but to exhibit selfishness in quelling your own momentary emotional 'compassion' of ' i can't bear to see him suffer, so poor thing'.
This is true of children, no matter how old,
BGR,
and christian community amongst many other examples.

We have been so tolerant of each other's sin so often, we steer our churchy discussions away from our own sinfulness.
"its ok la. its ok to drink as long......."
"yea let's accept him, cuz Jesus told us to love, so we love and show that church is actually a nice smiley place" knowing he/she has been overtly living a antiGod lifestyle even in and out of church.
nothing against drinking. but it's just the most prevalent example i can think of.

and i don't really care about offending anyone now.

in my own life, if we were to ask ourselves these same qns, we'll probably change our own thoughts to something more cheery like reading our FB newsfeed.

and it is said that counsellors should go for at least 8 sessions of counselling. But most people who love helping others, forget they need help first. And because they do so much ministering, it will be harder to get ministered to, cuz they actually know what's going on!

Same like pharisee Nicodemus.
he led, he taught, but no one saw his heart.

questions was used as a defence, to throw back to the questioner cuz he didn't want sin to be made obvious.

There's an old song called, 'If you don't love Jesus, don't come to church'.
Church is a place for the redeemed, and those seeking salvation. It is a place where, we all are broken, and redeemed, and worshipping together. We know the dark pasts that we all had, but we all all use our brokenness, talents, in worship. As worship is the expression of being forgiven, and living that life of forgiven-ness. and choosing not to go back. if we falter, people warn u, love u, help u in your picking up, rescue u if necessary, and restore u back to community.

If after so long in church, we realised we don't love jesus.

Don't come to church.