erm... oops.
wrong date. Blessed CHRISTmas everyone!
heh... i guess when cliches start to make sense, and returns that impact it's supposed to have... it's really, erm, impactful...
May God's PEACE and JOY be upon you.
peace and joy.
heh. really man.
so here's the cliche for u!!
=D
anyways...
2006's been a brul... i mean blur.
time to take some time to have some reflection time :D
HAHA
poly life somehow seems to make time accelerate more than other times in my life.
heh... i guess for others my age.. JC life... haha
they're all partying/working/enlisting/slacking/retaining etc.. HAHA
oh well
maybe cuz at this station of life it feels fast.
maybe there'll be more to come, i'm sure...
but its time to reflect.. haha.. to be honest, never really thought about the year that's past...
it's been a blur really.
but lots to be thankful in that blur.
cuz a blur king like me has lived a thankful blurred life, which makes 2006 blur.
HUH????
oops.
anyways... take an insincere cliche home! :D
Monday, December 25, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
living a/the different life
is it really that difficult just to be different?
just to have a different lifestyle?
just to have a different upbringing?
just to have a different mindset?
oh well.
the answer is yes.
in this conformist soceity we're in lah...
where people just try so hard to be cool, without realising that cool is actually not, the contrary actually. the irony of it all. (if cool means standing out from the crowd...)
we want to stand out from the crowd but want to follow trends, of which the crowd would have already been doing/dressing. strange hor?
i blogged this before..
but it gets hard in life when you are just so different, even from those whom u hang out with.
ah well.
thank God for people around who are willing to be friends who welcome, accepts and engage you for who you just are...
thankful for all these people around me. thank you.
Qn to myself is... do i? am i the friend that i want others to be?
heh, i seem to be blogging in circles, and keep typing the things which i did before.
shows alot of my life at times.. circles. or maybe it could be spiralling downwards??? hope not.
oh well. i guess that's life for alot of us. this is the world and soceity we are in.
you're either in or out. out? get the hell out of sight.
and if you're ang-moh-pai in a chinese speaking env or chinese-speaking in an ang-moh speaking env.. all the more i suppose... :P esp the latter i think :D
oh well.
God's kingdom is an upside-down one.
or rather, we're the ones on the wrong side. we are upside down.
He accepts all. He wants all to return. Not just the ang-moh-speaking. not just those who speak with a certain angmoh-nized accent.
this is our God.
living the/a different life? (ie: plain weird from others??)
heh, it doesn't really matter.
just to have a different lifestyle?
just to have a different upbringing?
just to have a different mindset?
oh well.
the answer is yes.
in this conformist soceity we're in lah...
where people just try so hard to be cool, without realising that cool is actually not, the contrary actually. the irony of it all. (if cool means standing out from the crowd...)
we want to stand out from the crowd but want to follow trends, of which the crowd would have already been doing/dressing. strange hor?
i blogged this before..
but it gets hard in life when you are just so different, even from those whom u hang out with.
ah well.
thank God for people around who are willing to be friends who welcome, accepts and engage you for who you just are...
thankful for all these people around me. thank you.
Qn to myself is... do i? am i the friend that i want others to be?
heh, i seem to be blogging in circles, and keep typing the things which i did before.
shows alot of my life at times.. circles. or maybe it could be spiralling downwards??? hope not.
oh well. i guess that's life for alot of us. this is the world and soceity we are in.
you're either in or out. out? get the hell out of sight.
and if you're ang-moh-pai in a chinese speaking env or chinese-speaking in an ang-moh speaking env.. all the more i suppose... :P esp the latter i think :D
oh well.
God's kingdom is an upside-down one.
or rather, we're the ones on the wrong side. we are upside down.
He accepts all. He wants all to return. Not just the ang-moh-speaking. not just those who speak with a certain angmoh-nized accent.
this is our God.
living the/a different life? (ie: plain weird from others??)
heh, it doesn't really matter.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
The-Mind-Cafe-Saturated :P
heh, went to The Mind Cafe at Boat Quay twice within 4days? piang...
haha oh well.. it's a great concept lah, all these cafes, like settlers and minds'. where ppl can chill and enjoy all the board games there. bored games for bored people.
hmm not exactly.. haha it's a good place to just catch up and have some board fun. tho i don't think they have surfboards for u to surf at the s'pore river.
oh well.. it gives me an option for a part time job if i have to go find one. not in the next few months tho..... ... nic is a lazy squanderer pig :S HAHAA
anyways... it's a gd place to chill with board games, unless..... u yourself have lotsa interesting games liao..
tho not recommended that u go there too often... especially in a span of 4 days??? HAHAA jelaht feeling man...
once in a green moon maybe? or is it blue? heh.. find a nite with a psychedelic moon lah. solve the problem whether red, green or blue moon. :D
BB 2001-2004 gathering.... 15dec06
on the train lah.. have no idea why i am putting up this pic also... oh well... :D
hmm.. 19dec06.. PCFers (eng and chinese side only though)... hahhaha. bad cam. so bad pics.....
;P
haha oh well.. it's a great concept lah, all these cafes, like settlers and minds'. where ppl can chill and enjoy all the board games there. bored games for bored people.
hmm not exactly.. haha it's a good place to just catch up and have some board fun. tho i don't think they have surfboards for u to surf at the s'pore river.
oh well.. it gives me an option for a part time job if i have to go find one. not in the next few months tho..... ... nic is a lazy squanderer pig :S HAHAA
anyways... it's a gd place to chill with board games, unless..... u yourself have lotsa interesting games liao..
tho not recommended that u go there too often... especially in a span of 4 days??? HAHAA jelaht feeling man...
once in a green moon maybe? or is it blue? heh.. find a nite with a psychedelic moon lah. solve the problem whether red, green or blue moon. :D
BB 2001-2004 gathering.... 15dec06
on the train lah.. have no idea why i am putting up this pic also... oh well... :D
hmm.. 19dec06.. PCFers (eng and chinese side only though)... hahhaha. bad cam. so bad pics.....
;P
Monday, December 11, 2006
interesting. very interesting indeed.
it's interesting how a personal opinion on something (which i think isn't really the main point and was just a comment) cause so much hype among people.
isn't it so in any aspect of our life?
i guess we are called to be lights. not flames.
not flames so we can flame others.
it's reaaalllllyy interesting.
it was an interesting 3hours that had just passed.
how anger, emotions, and our own wanting for credit for a job well done can snow ball and multiply (it didn't happen on multiply though... :P:P:D ) or should i say entropy out of control.
i guess that's life.
we go through life going through different emotions, different opinions. but i suppose let's use these 'wisely' and responsibly. try to see the big pic first.... if u can't see, can always go to the Singapore Art Museum, or any art gallery for that matter, to see a big picture... :P alternatively, zi lian by taking a self-pic and print it in A1 size. now, that's BIG... :D ;P HAHAHAHAHA...oops...
anyways.
blogs aren't safe man.... hahha... so, ppl be wise in how we emote yar? and "coat your tongues with SALT. and a torchLIGHT too." it's not meant to be understood btw. juz look at the words in caps can liao. i am too lorsor la... so i end up saying things liddat.
yea.. and cuz i am lorsor i just wanna type this whole paragraph which really means nothing, and i juz wanna emphasise that i am lorsor in this post so thats why hor, i am typing this. as i am typing this i realise i have a deja vu.. which means i probably had done something as boliao as this before. sigh. yea boring lorsor etc....
but if u get my main pt, can already. sieve it out through the crap. i am sorry to u, who read it.. :D HAHAHHA.
[bad english. bad grammar.bad vocab bad linkage of thoughts. tsk. u fail english lar, nic... :P]
isn't it so in any aspect of our life?
i guess we are called to be lights. not flames.
not flames so we can flame others.
it's reaaalllllyy interesting.
it was an interesting 3hours that had just passed.
how anger, emotions, and our own wanting for credit for a job well done can snow ball and multiply (it didn't happen on multiply though... :P:P:D ) or should i say entropy out of control.
i guess that's life.
we go through life going through different emotions, different opinions. but i suppose let's use these 'wisely' and responsibly. try to see the big pic first.... if u can't see, can always go to the Singapore Art Museum, or any art gallery for that matter, to see a big picture... :P alternatively, zi lian by taking a self-pic and print it in A1 size. now, that's BIG... :D ;P HAHAHAHAHA...oops...
anyways.
blogs aren't safe man.... hahha... so, ppl be wise in how we emote yar? and "coat your tongues with SALT. and a torchLIGHT too." it's not meant to be understood btw. juz look at the words in caps can liao. i am too lorsor la... so i end up saying things liddat.
yea.. and cuz i am lorsor i just wanna type this whole paragraph which really means nothing, and i juz wanna emphasise that i am lorsor in this post so thats why hor, i am typing this. as i am typing this i realise i have a deja vu.. which means i probably had done something as boliao as this before. sigh. yea boring lorsor etc....
but if u get my main pt, can already. sieve it out through the crap. i am sorry to u, who read it.. :D HAHAHHA.
[bad english. bad grammar.bad vocab bad linkage of thoughts. tsk. u fail english lar, nic... :P]
Friday, December 08, 2006
casting crowns "konsert" :D
hmmm....
i am impressed with Casting Crowns now.
I once just listen to some songs of theirs, and i thought they were bland... probably cuz i am visual-learner type of guy (i think).. couldn't really catch lyrics when i hear any song....
but yesterday's concert... yea.. i am impressed at them.
their songs, if u hear carefully (or read, for that matter..) are filled with lotsa meanings behind.
of judging, ostracising, and basically what we aren't doing well as believers....
and they managed not to make it preachy... they sang it..
though many would have heard their songs already, i suppose, watching any band live will be more impactful...
quite interesting lar... it's the first concert which makes me think. alot.
so we can sing or preach about not judging people and sing about going to pray, but that's just it. we continue judging people, and "choosing who comes in or out". and we just know that we should pray.
hmm.. better still, let's pray about who to judge. cus we are so good. and others must do it our way.
it's interesting how they managed to point people back to "the voice of truth".
i suppose they brought a message that is super relevant to us. messages i suppose. there were many issues talked abt......
Christianity as a religion where we put on and off like a jacket. Jesus wasn't meant to be put on in the first place. but in.
yea the lyrics of their songs speak for themselves don't they?
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
oh well. no photos, cuz phototaking was prohibitted. maybe except some pics ale, rach and leon took of themselves.. whats new?
AHHAA :D:D jk
oya... there's still another round tonight. if you're reading this today (fri 8dec06 from 1138am to 5+pm?) and never heard of this and u wanna go do consider lar... as in, really consider.
www.konquerors.org
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey! this is a really serious post! HAHAHAHAHHAHA.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
heh ;P
heh.... uniting factors that rly bonds ppl:
- food
- trying to defeat some totem-pole-eating monster on retro games like metal slugX at 4.37am. :D jon, we make a gd team ;P
- pillow war
- everyone else tickling someone =D =D .
- food
- trying to defeat some totem-pole-eating monster on retro games like metal slugX at 4.37am. :D jon, we make a gd team ;P
- pillow war
- everyone else tickling someone =D =D .
Sunday, November 26, 2006
here it is again! and again! .....
somethings we cannot ignore.
it's the same old repeat-on-different-times-and-i-am-hearing-it-again kinda thing
reconciliation.
i cannot ignore it man.
yesterday during pre-fishbone prayer by 3sa.
today during 12pm svc worship.
and Galv's blog today...
i cannot ignore it.
especially during this week. this wk where its not so smooth.
i cannot.
it is a learning journey.
learning that refinement is far from over.
when things calm down and thoughts start to be rational again..
the situations really question my attitudes, my assumptions, my response.
i know what to change. i know which areas even.
but do i? do i carry it out?
it's a rhetoric.
and earlier in the yr where this kinda thing happened, it was disunity.
so i suppose it still holds yea?
disunity--reconciliation.
the year's not yet ended.
thing's might go awry the coming month.
be on our toes yea? ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
head-heart.
mind-emotional.
head knowledge is not heart knowledge.
i seem to be questioning myself on other things too.
what are my real motives behind doing / going whereever etc.
esp when circumstances make it that it's so convenient an excuse.
ah well.
i dun wanna cage a free bird with my foolishness.
i shall be wise in this area. ;) cannot afford to make any mistakes regarding this.
and you, the reader is not supposed to know what i am talking about.
oh well.
reconciliation.
discipline.
walk the talk.
being wise in whatever i was talking about.
:D
it's the same old repeat-on-different-times-and-i-am-hearing-it-again kinda thing
reconciliation.
i cannot ignore it man.
yesterday during pre-fishbone prayer by 3sa.
today during 12pm svc worship.
and Galv's blog today...
i cannot ignore it.
especially during this week. this wk where its not so smooth.
i cannot.
it is a learning journey.
learning that refinement is far from over.
when things calm down and thoughts start to be rational again..
the situations really question my attitudes, my assumptions, my response.
i know what to change. i know which areas even.
but do i? do i carry it out?
it's a rhetoric.
and earlier in the yr where this kinda thing happened, it was disunity.
so i suppose it still holds yea?
disunity--reconciliation.
the year's not yet ended.
thing's might go awry the coming month.
be on our toes yea? ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
head-heart.
mind-emotional.
head knowledge is not heart knowledge.
i seem to be questioning myself on other things too.
what are my real motives behind doing / going whereever etc.
esp when circumstances make it that it's so convenient an excuse.
ah well.
i dun wanna cage a free bird with my foolishness.
i shall be wise in this area. ;) cannot afford to make any mistakes regarding this.
and you, the reader is not supposed to know what i am talking about.
oh well.
reconciliation.
discipline.
walk the talk.
being wise in whatever i was talking about.
:D
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
interesting saturday
~hike. with 18 blue monkeys, to see real monkeys at macritchie.
~30mins meeting with some guy calling himself "some guy".
~web.
~TFB trial.
~Halfway thru it. a take home lesson.
quote of saturday,
"so this teaches you that we should be Christ-like in front of, and behind people."
beware of what we say.
especially when we think no one is around to hear.
especially when we think that the worst case scenario won't happen and we joke bout it.
especially when it comes true.
and i wonder if this is blogworthy.
anyways. i shall do what i say.
not waste time.
shan't procrastinate.
but i'll start next week... :D :D :D
~30mins meeting with some guy calling himself "some guy".
~web.
~TFB trial.
~Halfway thru it. a take home lesson.
quote of saturday,
"so this teaches you that we should be Christ-like in front of, and behind people."
beware of what we say.
especially when we think no one is around to hear.
especially when we think that the worst case scenario won't happen and we joke bout it.
especially when it comes true.
and i wonder if this is blogworthy.
anyways. i shall do what i say.
not waste time.
shan't procrastinate.
but i'll start next week... :D :D :D
Friday, November 17, 2006
random thoughts.
this is bad. bad stewardship of time. what sort of person/christian am i telling others when i seem to delight in procrastination, and i so lack in diligence man!
gah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
which brings me to this next point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't give others a chance to poke holes in your character.
live a life worthy.
so that people will find it hard to look for descrepancies in our life.
ie what we talk and do doesn't link.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's 2.52am.
i got to reach the lab at 750am.
and it's not near the mrt.
not at all.
very gd stewardship of time.
very.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
which brings me to this next point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't give others a chance to poke holes in your character.
live a life worthy.
so that people will find it hard to look for descrepancies in our life.
ie what we talk and do doesn't link.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's 2.52am.
i got to reach the lab at 750am.
and it's not near the mrt.
not at all.
very gd stewardship of time.
very.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, November 13, 2006
test
tests come for us, when we least expect new people to come.
people who don't really seem like the rest of us, at that.
what shall we do?
how shall we respond?
i'm sure it's not our job to do so.
i'm sure it's their fault they can't fit.
i'm sure it's just too bad...
let's just enjoy ourselves lor.
who am i to say this???
i dunno what to think. i dunno what to feel. God, be in control. ARGH. let not my decisions be on what i feel, but on who You are. And You have a mighty plan for all of us involved. There's a greater reason came.For Your glory. God, refine me. Refine all of us.
people who don't really seem like the rest of us, at that.
what shall we do?
how shall we respond?
i'm sure it's not our job to do so.
i'm sure it's their fault they can't fit.
i'm sure it's just too bad...
let's just enjoy ourselves lor.
who am i to say this???
i dunno what to think. i dunno what to feel. God, be in control. ARGH. let not my decisions be on what i feel, but on who You are. And You have a mighty plan for all of us involved. There's a greater reason came.For Your glory. God, refine me. Refine all of us.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Don't waste your life...
i'm reading this book of the same title as this post.
or rather, the other way round... this post has the same title as the book.
"nic! u actually read?? thought u were some retard who dunno how to read.. "
;P
yea.. this book "Don't waste your life" is about not wasting your life.
great title to sum it all up.
just like some movies have titles like "snakes on a plane" etc... don't watch lots of movies to crap about it.
maybe should have a movie called,
"this is a movie about this two people who fall in love and it gets complicated. with special hollywood effects."
anyways....
yea, Don't Waste Your Life's msg is don't waste your life...
need i say more?
well.. yea.. it's an inspiring book by John Plumber. or is that Piper? yea.. something like that. ;P
think it's a good and challenging read. challenges us to see what we are doing normally is really a waste of our life. and of course how not to lah! duh... hhaha
it's not a cheem book as i thought so... cuz it's not very thick, in quite readable font size (ie, not small lah.. not too large either.. ) and all these doesnt really matter.. its juz my fingers.. :P
hahha... but yea, its readable, and actually we're the target audience.. teens to young adults.. though its relevant for all!
yea, tho i'm still reading it halfway, it has challenged me about not wasting my life... and i supp that's wad many has been telling me.. that i have to be accountable one day how i spend my time.
scary thought, judging from the fact that i dont. spend it wisely that is.
priorities all mixed up. procrastinating the procrastination... thinking of how to excel, how to come up with a workplan etc., what it will be like if i had actually excelled in the things i did...
keyword: think.
oh well. yea to sum it up.. Don't Waste Your Life has really challenged how things i do is actually making me waste my life away, not living a fruitful God-fearing, God-glorifying life, and Him in control as LORD, and proclaiming Him as the mighty saviour and creator that He is.
anyways, i gotta go read blogs, wait for ppl to chat me on msn and go youtubing now. bye....
;P
or rather, the other way round... this post has the same title as the book.
"nic! u actually read?? thought u were some retard who dunno how to read.. "
;P
yea.. this book "Don't waste your life" is about not wasting your life.
great title to sum it all up.
just like some movies have titles like "snakes on a plane" etc... don't watch lots of movies to crap about it.
maybe should have a movie called,
"this is a movie about this two people who fall in love and it gets complicated. with special hollywood effects."
anyways....
yea, Don't Waste Your Life's msg is don't waste your life...
need i say more?
well.. yea.. it's an inspiring book by John Plumber. or is that Piper? yea.. something like that. ;P
think it's a good and challenging read. challenges us to see what we are doing normally is really a waste of our life. and of course how not to lah! duh... hhaha
it's not a cheem book as i thought so... cuz it's not very thick, in quite readable font size (ie, not small lah.. not too large either.. ) and all these doesnt really matter.. its juz my fingers.. :P
hahha... but yea, its readable, and actually we're the target audience.. teens to young adults.. though its relevant for all!
yea, tho i'm still reading it halfway, it has challenged me about not wasting my life... and i supp that's wad many has been telling me.. that i have to be accountable one day how i spend my time.
scary thought, judging from the fact that i dont. spend it wisely that is.
priorities all mixed up. procrastinating the procrastination... thinking of how to excel, how to come up with a workplan etc., what it will be like if i had actually excelled in the things i did...
keyword: think.
oh well. yea to sum it up.. Don't Waste Your Life has really challenged how things i do is actually making me waste my life away, not living a fruitful God-fearing, God-glorifying life, and Him in control as LORD, and proclaiming Him as the mighty saviour and creator that He is.
anyways, i gotta go read blogs, wait for ppl to chat me on msn and go youtubing now. bye....
;P
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
WOW-- worship, obedience, witness
hmm..
WOW-worship, obedience, witness.
THE ANGEL STADIUM DECLARATION
AKA
PURPOSE DRIVEN COVENANT
Today I am stepping across the line. I'm tired of waffling, and I'm finished with wavering. I've made my choice; the verdict is in; and my decision is irrevocable. I'm going God's way. There's no turning back now!
I will live the rest of my life serving God's purposes with God's people on God's planet for God's glory. I will use my life to celebrate his presence, cultivate his character, participate in his family, demonstrate his love, and communicate his Word.
Since my past has been forgiven, and I have a purpose for living and a home awaiting in heaven, I refuse to waste any more time or energy on shallow living, petty thinking, trivial talking, thoughtless doing, useless regretting, hurtful resenting, or faithless worrying. Instead I will magnify God, grow to maturity, serve in ministry, and fulfill my mission in the membership of his family.
Because this life is preparation for the next, I will value worship over wealth, "we" over "me," character over comfort, service over status, and people over possessions, position, and pleasures. I know what matters most, and I'll give it all I've got. I'll do the best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today.
I won't be captivated by culture, manipulated by critics, motivated by praise, frustrated by problems, debilitated by temptation, or intimidated by the devil. I'll keep running my race with my eyes on the goal, not the sidelines or those running by me. When times get tough, and I get tired, I won't back up, back off, back down, back out, or backslide. I'll just keep moving forward by God's grace. I'm Spirit-led, purpose-driven and mission-focused, so I cannot be bought, I will not be compromised, and I shall not quit until I finish the race.
I'm a trophy of God's amazing grace, so I will be gracious to everyone, grateful for everyday, and generous with everything that God entrusts to me.
To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I say: However, whenever, wherever, and whatever you ask me to do, my answer in advance is yes! Wherever you lead and whatever the cost, I'm ready. Anytime. Anywhere. Anyway. Whatever it takes Lord; whatever it takes! I want to be used by you in such a way, that on that final day I'll hear you say, "Well done, thou good and faithful one. Come on in, and let the eternal party begin!"
WOW-worship, obedience, witness.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
'who am i really' doesn't really matter anymore when we see 'who God is really'.
back to basics. identity in Christ.
does it matter what ppl think of us?
my lesson i learnt. the message He spoke to me last weekend.
and this wk i've done things, things i didn't know how i did it. how could i even have done that?
how could i?
time to change. time to check my attitudes.
else it will continue on to adulthood.
this song again.. especially meaningful.
back to basics. identity in Christ.
does it matter what ppl think of us?
my lesson i learnt. the message He spoke to me last weekend.
and this wk i've done things, things i didn't know how i did it. how could i even have done that?
how could i?
time to change. time to check my attitudes.
else it will continue on to adulthood.
this song again.. especially meaningful.
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
To look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One with Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased with His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!
With Christ my Savior and my God!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
finally.
this is pretty lor sor and boring. pls dont read.
im serious.
Yea. finally i shall blog about Camp Lost?.
"Camp Lost?"?
Yea... that's the name. Camp Lost?. with a question mark.
i suppose those closer to me, or some whom i have told would have known that last last wk (ie 18-21sept06), there was a combined poly camp! and of course CFers from the diff polys and those who attended the camp lah! hahha.. at a camp.. then "huh? i at camp arh? i din noe lei... wad am i doing here? am i Lost? " :D:D hahhaa
anyways...
somehow unlike most other camps i been too, where rite after the camp, u see ppl blogging abt it on the day itself or at least the day after...
this camp somehow i realise tt ppl blog bout it a few days after. its going to be 2 wks since camp now...
oh wells... if u wanna see other insights or reflections of the camp, can go to any of these..
http://t-man.blogdrive.com/archive/193.html --tianen's
http://modernity.blogspot.com/2006/09/am-lost-but-now-found.html --ian ong's
http://lgspirit.blogspot.com/2006/09/camp-lost.html --lyd goh's
http://mark-sae-it-not.blogspot.com/ 23sept06 post --mark lai's
http://www.love-symphony.blogspot.com/ 22sept06 post -- kat's
sure got more lah.. but oh-wells-but-then...
and of cos some pics on my multiply... tho it will fully be up nxt wk, when i get Tianen and my pics... (those uploaded were during the camp, and not all appeared...)
oh wells..
beyond the "camp's great! woohoo!camp's a blast!" etc...
i wonder what has He spoken and touched in our lives (those who went).
for myself, i guess He has spoken in a diff way from all the other campers..
i took home something much different i suppose.....
camp lost? seems all a blur really.. hahha.
it came. it gone. so fast.
ah wells. i guess my journey began much earlier. ironically just after 2 camps in june..
came back from, erm, the high class stable, to PCF's(SP's side of CF)first combined ministry camp. and i was "given the honour" of being camp commandant.. hahha.
which was really a privilege and honour.
learnt, and experienced God in a way which i can never unless thru this role.
abt myself too.
and of course with all these lessons, more reflections.. on how i should change, etc.
ah wells. yea. i was camp commandant.
nothing at all to be proud of.
and yea. the prev posts where i mentioned of "an immense role in a camp", yea this the one.
in fact, i'd rather not.
(thanks ah, Yan Sing, Meliza... :P :P )
oh wells.
God did show me somethings abt Himself.
these are pretty much all cliches. but cliches take on another dimension when the cliches become experience.
~ anything we do for Him is really about Him only. stop thinking that you are indispensable. that without u, the whole thing will crumble.
~ and why stress? sometimes we stress ourselves out with our own details, and we ironically blind ourselves and in turn deceive ourselves about who God really is. yea, we do need to settle details, but if all we want is perfection, then u might as well get urself killed and if u assured of a new heaven and earth, that's perfection.
don't get me wrong... its ok to excel, in fact its biblical, but if we keep wanting things to go right all the time, and we must be in control of all situations, then... lotsa "hmms" follow...
~ but of cos the opposite is also true lah... cant be too slack and assume everything will run ok. which, i think was wad i did too much... ah wells.
how to balance??
indecisiveness vs democratic, wanting all the opinions, and coming our wif a decision
ah wells...
i guess i did lots of mistakes, and im pretty sure i did irk ppl with my slow paced tortoise-like decision makings while others may (or may not) expect a chop-chop-i-want-this-done-now type of decision making..
pretty indecisive..
ah wells, it seems like in every camp comm im in, i learn abt God...
He is faithful and gracious.
and mostly in all the comms i was in.
He is Jehovah Jireh.
He provides.
seriously provides.
some instances...
in a bbgb camp for the greenridge pri kids last yr... we were in need of tents like desperately.
camp was only a FEW days time. and we had no tents, due to some complicated stuff..
to cut a damn lorsor long story short, we got 14 tents when we only needed 7-8.
He provided like twice the amt!
and this happens every camp.
He provides. and provides excess!
happened in the june PCF camp, and happened again in Camp Lost?.
He really provides.
He really provides!
minute things like paper, mattresses (and of course Alwyn's Dad.. thanks LOTS!), various logistics, etc, shows alot.
and 'big picture' things like the campsite. we got it at a deal
plus $$.
(tho we're in deficit now after the camp, im pretty sure "smthg's good going to happen smthg good is in store, we're together again.. ..." oops.. quote too much... :P:P )
and of course... i think God has put together one of the best camp committees you can ever find man! camp comm, im serious.
*tries hard to put on grim serious face, but as usual can't.*
truly, i think He has answered our prayers on unity.
teamwork.
thanks alot people!!!!
[not in order of anything]
Thanks Tian En
Thanks Meliza
Thanks Yansing
Thanks Abel
Thanks Alwyn
Thanks Lydia
Thanks Raymund
Thanks Mark
Thanks Mag
Thanks Fuji
Thanks Angeline
Thanks MayFern
and of course can guess wad's next.
Thank our God.
Who is there like You, O God.
~~~note.. i dun usually blog like this.. hahha rare la.. hmm.. or is it a sign of things to come? i dunno. this is pretty lor sor and boring. pls dont read.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
on the way lah...
[something's wrong with my email, somehow it cannot open these html. so i wanted to see it, and i copied over to blogger to see... annnddd... since i'm here, i might as well post it. on the way lah... ;P ]
GSCE 'O' Levels
Hokkien Exam
Paper
Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself
with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
Question:
Singalella why become rich ?
Koo zhar wu chee
ay char bor kia, Singalella.
She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and
the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
If
her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
CPF poon boh.
But then,
kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
So he say, "oeh, long chong lai
ah."
Singalella very happy because she never go
party before but then her step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one
bahru lu eh sisters wu standard."
Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
Tak pai haw, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
That night
she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi
mee.
Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee
party?"
So Singalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu
kong buay-sai, so boh pian."
She never expect but the neighbour say,
"Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money."
So singalella brush teef
and zhang-zhui, zhen-kor, after that look very different.
She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui
one.
Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
Just as Ah Ming
told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came in.
Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng
ah, chee kor buay pai."
Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui
eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"
Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like
octopus, touch here touch there.
But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the
dance floor.
He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
So
after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak
ban.
So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho
sen-lee.
Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of
Hokkien....
A1. Can understand
the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
Hokkien
eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce
Hokkien properly.
zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story
and/or catch no ball.
leow leow, mai ka
lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.
kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
GSCE 'O' Levels
Hokkien Exam
Paper
Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself
with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
Question:
Singalella why become rich ?
Koo zhar wu chee
ay char bor kia, Singalella.
She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and
the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
If
her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
CPF poon boh.
But then,
kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
So he say, "oeh, long chong lai
ah."
Singalella very happy because she never go
party before but then her step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one
bahru lu eh sisters wu standard."
Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
Tak pai haw, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
That night
she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi
mee.
Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee
party?"
So Singalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu
kong buay-sai, so boh pian."
She never expect but the neighbour say,
"Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money."
So singalella brush teef
and zhang-zhui, zhen-kor, after that look very different.
She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui
one.
Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
Just as Ah Ming
told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came in.
Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng
ah, chee kor buay pai."
Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui
eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"
Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like
octopus, touch here touch there.
But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the
dance floor.
He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
So
after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak
ban.
So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho
sen-lee.
Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of
Hokkien....
A1. Can understand
the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
Hokkien
eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce
Hokkien properly.
zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story
and/or catch no ball.
leow leow, mai ka
lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.
kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
Monday, September 04, 2006
He is sovereign.
and it's times when it doesn't seem so, where we have to see this fact.
We need Him.
and the times when we do not think so, are the very times we very much do.
and when things happen, sometimes we wonder what's going on? why did it have to come to such a state?
but at the back of our minds, some things just have to be done.
tough love.
and bro(s), our families belong to Him, even though its not gonna be easy for us to see it sometimes... and though we probably going thru radically different situations (i assure u), let's all support one another...
and it's times when it doesn't seem so, where we have to see this fact.
We need Him.
and the times when we do not think so, are the very times we very much do.
and when things happen, sometimes we wonder what's going on? why did it have to come to such a state?
but at the back of our minds, some things just have to be done.
tough love.
and bro(s), our families belong to Him, even though its not gonna be easy for us to see it sometimes... and though we probably going thru radically different situations (i assure u), let's all support one another...
"who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have the compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all ouriniquities into the depths of the sea."
~Micah7:18-19
Saturday, September 02, 2006
bladder problem ;P
pissed many off this week
(ok, not that many, but enough to make me guilt ridden and reflective again).
and its all due to my flaws.
ironically, they are the ppl whom i serve along side in my ministries (BBGB??, PCF).
(ok, not that many, but enough to make me guilt ridden and reflective again).
and its all due to my flaws.
ironically, they are the ppl whom i serve along side in my ministries (BBGB??, PCF).
God help.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
blinding ourselves with ourselves.
hmmmm......
is it possible that guys are actually more emotional than the gals??
can be.
but obviously guys respond and express their emotions in a way that is vastly different from gals lah... DUH!
do we often see (most) guys emoting their life away?
not really for me.
but i really don't know about yourself...
oh wells...
there i go again. another oh wells.
oh wells...
i dunno man...
maybe we should go for some courses to learn how to communicate, and express accurately. or even handle our extreme feelings... like guilt, anger,lonliness, isolation, non chalance, etc etc etc
or we can continue on in life as we relate to others, making mistakes of our own, and learning along the way.
which is A.K.A. learning it the hard way.
gotta brush up my skills.
refinement... and refinement and growth comes as we admit our mistakes, face the (ughh) consequences, and of course make sure we do not repeat that.
hur.
of course it's so easy for me to say and type...
dunno lar...
i really dunno.
what are my thoughts and feelings sometimes...
"what's wrong?"
i wonder sometimes...
hai...
sometimes we blind ourselves by ourselves.
we are overwhelmed by our own feelings, our own rut of our lives.
and it really is an indication of what our lives are in relation to Him...
argh. what a struggle. or struggles?
it seems, that i'm blogging for the sake of blogging.
and something's just missing.
the flair i used to have at one (short) point, now, i just cannot seem to make any sense of what i'm writing anymore.
i can't seem to be typing sense nowadays.
or even reflect well.
argh.
[my true feelings and thoughts to my own journal! you never know who's reading... ] ;P who am i? who are the ones i trust? i can only trust in Him as my confindate sometimes....
is it possible that guys are actually more emotional than the gals??
can be.
but obviously guys respond and express their emotions in a way that is vastly different from gals lah... DUH!
do we often see (most) guys emoting their life away?
not really for me.
but i really don't know about yourself...
oh wells...
there i go again. another oh wells.
oh wells...
i dunno man...
maybe we should go for some courses to learn how to communicate, and express accurately. or even handle our extreme feelings... like guilt, anger,lonliness, isolation, non chalance, etc etc etc
or we can continue on in life as we relate to others, making mistakes of our own, and learning along the way.
which is A.K.A. learning it the hard way.
gotta brush up my skills.
refinement... and refinement and growth comes as we admit our mistakes, face the (ughh) consequences, and of course make sure we do not repeat that.
hur.
of course it's so easy for me to say and type...
dunno lar...
i really dunno.
what are my thoughts and feelings sometimes...
"what's wrong?"
i wonder sometimes...
hai...
sometimes we blind ourselves by ourselves.
we are overwhelmed by our own feelings, our own rut of our lives.
and it really is an indication of what our lives are in relation to Him...
argh. what a struggle. or struggles?
it seems, that i'm blogging for the sake of blogging.
and something's just missing.
the flair i used to have at one (short) point, now, i just cannot seem to make any sense of what i'm writing anymore.
i can't seem to be typing sense nowadays.
or even reflect well.
argh.
[my true feelings and thoughts to my own journal! you never know who's reading... ] ;P who am i? who are the ones i trust? i can only trust in Him as my confindate sometimes....
Monday, August 14, 2006
exams are here... however...
I Will Sing- Don Moen
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh wells.
where am i now?
who am i?
how, Lord?
why, Lord?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there's this classic test where we imagine our own funeral...
and you're one of the ppl attending (somehow)....
what will your eulogies be?
(but of course, eulogies only tell of the nicer ones la... u dont go to a funeral and the speakers go up and say what a loser you have been, or how stupid you are... but it's worth thinking thru... )
what will we be remembered for?
whose lives have we touched, or hurt?
what will be the one thing that ppl will say abt you?
what do you want others to remember you?
oh wells.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
crap, i hope i dun use this type of few-thoughts/posts-in one too often...
it shows how much i deproved... :( haha, and maybe the state of my mind and my life...
gotta go TRY to mug!
exams on wed!
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh wells.
where am i now?
who am i?
how, Lord?
why, Lord?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there's this classic test where we imagine our own funeral...
and you're one of the ppl attending (somehow)....
what will your eulogies be?
(but of course, eulogies only tell of the nicer ones la... u dont go to a funeral and the speakers go up and say what a loser you have been, or how stupid you are... but it's worth thinking thru... )
what will we be remembered for?
whose lives have we touched, or hurt?
what will be the one thing that ppl will say abt you?
what do you want others to remember you?
oh wells.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
crap, i hope i dun use this type of few-thoughts/posts-in one too often...
it shows how much i deproved... :( haha, and maybe the state of my mind and my life...
gotta go TRY to mug!
exams on wed!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Touching Triathlon
When Rick Hoyt was 15, he communicated something to his father that changed both their lives. "Dad," the mute quadriplegic wrote in his computer after his father pushed him in a wheelchair in a five-kilometer race, "I felt like I wasn't handicapped."
Rick, now 37, has had cerebral palsy since birth. But he has always been treated simply as one of the family, included by his now-divorced parents in almost everything brothers Rob and Russell did.
"They told us to put Rick away, in an institution, (because) he's going to be nothing but a vegetable for the rest of his life," his father remembers.
"We said, 'No, we're not going to do that. We're going to bring Rick home and bring him up like any other child,'" says Dick Hoyt, 59, a retired lieutenant colonel with the Air National Guard. "And this is what we have done."
And how.
'Every Boston Marathon since 1981'
For more than 20 years, Dick has either towed, pushed or carried Rick in a string of athletic challenges including every Boston Marathon since 1981 and, most recently, last month's Ironman Triathlon World Championships in Hawaii.
For that event, competitors have to swim 2 1/2 miles through the ocean and then peddle a bicycle 112 miles before running a hilly, 26.2-mile marathon.
In the triathlon swim, Rick lies on his back in a rubber raft attached by rope to a wetsuit vest worn by his father. In the bike portion, Rick sits in a chair attached to the front of Dick's bike, and on the run, Dick pushes Rick in the race chair.
This year, it took them 16 hours and 14 minutes to finish the 140-mile day of reckoning -- about two hours slower than their first try, in 1989. But time isn't the point. Teamwork is. The Hoyts are the only tandem ever to complete the Ironman Triathlon World Championships together.
'The biggest smile you ever saw in your life'
The spark for this lifetime of patience and devotion was ignited in 1977.
The teen-age Rick asked his father if he could participate in a five-kilometer (3.1 mile) race to benefit an athlete paralyzed in an accident. Dick agreed and pushed his son the entire distance in a jerry-rigged chair that now resides in the Massachusetts Sports Hall of Fame.
As they crossed the finish line that day, Rick flashed "the biggest smile you ever saw in your life," his father told CNN. When they got home, Rick went to a specially built computer that allowed him to communicate using a head switch to select letters and spell out words.
The message Rick typed, expressing his joy of feeling "like I wasn't handicapped," began an odyssey of love that continues to this day, taking father and son to competitions around the world. It even inspired Dick to learn how to swim.
"He's the one who has motivated me because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be out there competing," says Dick. "What I'm doing is loaning Rick my arms and legs so he can be out there competing like everybody else."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
reminds me of the poem "footprints in the sand"
our Father in heaven carried us all along... we didnt have to do anything.
When Rick Hoyt was 15, he communicated something to his father that changed both their lives. "Dad," the mute quadriplegic wrote in his computer after his father pushed him in a wheelchair in a five-kilometer race, "I felt like I wasn't handicapped."
Rick, now 37, has had cerebral palsy since birth. But he has always been treated simply as one of the family, included by his now-divorced parents in almost everything brothers Rob and Russell did.
"They told us to put Rick away, in an institution, (because) he's going to be nothing but a vegetable for the rest of his life," his father remembers.
"We said, 'No, we're not going to do that. We're going to bring Rick home and bring him up like any other child,'" says Dick Hoyt, 59, a retired lieutenant colonel with the Air National Guard. "And this is what we have done."
And how.
'Every Boston Marathon since 1981'
For more than 20 years, Dick has either towed, pushed or carried Rick in a string of athletic challenges including every Boston Marathon since 1981 and, most recently, last month's Ironman Triathlon World Championships in Hawaii.
For that event, competitors have to swim 2 1/2 miles through the ocean and then peddle a bicycle 112 miles before running a hilly, 26.2-mile marathon.
In the triathlon swim, Rick lies on his back in a rubber raft attached by rope to a wetsuit vest worn by his father. In the bike portion, Rick sits in a chair attached to the front of Dick's bike, and on the run, Dick pushes Rick in the race chair.
This year, it took them 16 hours and 14 minutes to finish the 140-mile day of reckoning -- about two hours slower than their first try, in 1989. But time isn't the point. Teamwork is. The Hoyts are the only tandem ever to complete the Ironman Triathlon World Championships together.
'The biggest smile you ever saw in your life'
The spark for this lifetime of patience and devotion was ignited in 1977.
The teen-age Rick asked his father if he could participate in a five-kilometer (3.1 mile) race to benefit an athlete paralyzed in an accident. Dick agreed and pushed his son the entire distance in a jerry-rigged chair that now resides in the Massachusetts Sports Hall of Fame.
As they crossed the finish line that day, Rick flashed "the biggest smile you ever saw in your life," his father told CNN. When they got home, Rick went to a specially built computer that allowed him to communicate using a head switch to select letters and spell out words.
The message Rick typed, expressing his joy of feeling "like I wasn't handicapped," began an odyssey of love that continues to this day, taking father and son to competitions around the world. It even inspired Dick to learn how to swim.
"He's the one who has motivated me because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be out there competing," says Dick. "What I'm doing is loaning Rick my arms and legs so he can be out there competing like everybody else."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
reminds me of the poem "footprints in the sand"
our Father in heaven carried us all along... we didnt have to do anything.
of leading others further than you've gone, and of rebel fingers.
"I cannot lead anyone further than I have gone... "
think abt it... (for me lah).
do we sometimes take our freedom for granted? Though we do not have a kilometre-long list of dos and donts, but have we compromised? compromised too much.
that we take everything as ok. if you get my drift...
just cant get organised. the mess of my thoughts, the mess of my home, the mess of my life.
yea.. my "fingers are now running faster than my brain and heart"...
oh wells..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes i wonder, what or who do we go to for our encouragement?
sometimes i wonder, also, what some of us do just to get that phrase of encouragement.
i guess different people have been brought up differently and will take different things as their personal encouragement. and even the extent to which a person needs to be encouraged continually is also a variable (not x or y or xy or dx or wadeva la... hahha ;P oops... sorry maths paper coming up for me.. :P ).
of course, i suppose for most of us, we usually take affirmation as encouragements. erm.. but of course, affirmation of a , erm , "good" kind...
haha.. not like "i affirm that you're a stupid, dumb, bodoh dodo, who is good for nothing and a scum of the earth. your ugliness gives me allergic reactions. HEY!! i'm encouraging you, k? so that you'll be encouraged to improve yourself!!!"
:D oops...
it's true, we all need encouragement. we can be encouragers too! by our lives.
oh wells... thank all of you bros (WG)... for your encouragement on each other.
i really hope we do continue this race together. and i do hope that our wg will not be based on us. but, ya.. you know where im driving at. (though i wont be taking my driving lessons anytime soon. haha.) thank all of you who wished me. Thanks. even though it can be an auto thing for some of us, i'm still encouraged.
haha... birthdays.
have they become a day where we have an excuse to celebrate the great ME?
i dont celebrate my birthday. and there was a year i even forgot.
oh wells, in this fallen world...
not that there's anything wrong in celebrating... in fact it's probably normal. im weird and atypical, u see. :D
who do we go to for support?
buddies?
stead?
parents (i doubt many will, yea? unfortunately)?
no one?
some stranger we meet in chat room or on the streets?
??? ?
we are human, and so we need human support and companionship... but because we're human, we fail too. humans fail each other. but the Almighty will not. know this, not because it's some abstract stoopeed concept, but cuz i know. first hand.
oh wells...
i know not what im typing anymore... cuz i seem not to be reflecting much these past weeks. reflecting in all sense of the word. oh wells... not really all. cuz i dont pose in front of the mirror everyhour, and exclaim how handsome and good-looking, and christ-like i am... ;P
LORD help.
no reflections (insights) in. no reflections (of Him) out.
have i lost it?
what?
i don't really know.
it seems blurry sometimes. when we just don't know what on earth is going on. or rather, we do. but... we don't.
so we don't know what is going on. but we do. and yet we don't. or do we?
heh...
crap... i really know not what i'm typing already. lack of sleep? i dunno. oh wells, stressed i am.
(tensile stress, compression stress, shear stress... oops.. sorry. )
escapism, i hope not to continue.
oh wellll....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With All I Am
into your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for you Lord
you hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I'm yours forever
[CHORUS]
Jesus I believe in you
Jesus I belong to you
you're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
with all I am
I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you
and I will live
in all of your ways and
your promises forever
[CHORUS]
I will worship
I will worship you forever
i hope i can sing and mean what i sing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
of leading others further than you've gone, and of rebel fingers.
think abt it... (for me lah).
do we sometimes take our freedom for granted? Though we do not have a kilometre-long list of dos and donts, but have we compromised? compromised too much.
that we take everything as ok. if you get my drift...
just cant get organised. the mess of my thoughts, the mess of my home, the mess of my life.
yea.. my "fingers are now running faster than my brain and heart"...
oh wells..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes i wonder, what or who do we go to for our encouragement?
sometimes i wonder, also, what some of us do just to get that phrase of encouragement.
i guess different people have been brought up differently and will take different things as their personal encouragement. and even the extent to which a person needs to be encouraged continually is also a variable (not x or y or xy or dx or wadeva la... hahha ;P oops... sorry maths paper coming up for me.. :P ).
of course, i suppose for most of us, we usually take affirmation as encouragements. erm.. but of course, affirmation of a , erm , "good" kind...
haha.. not like "i affirm that you're a stupid, dumb, bodoh dodo, who is good for nothing and a scum of the earth. your ugliness gives me allergic reactions. HEY!! i'm encouraging you, k? so that you'll be encouraged to improve yourself!!!"
:D oops...
it's true, we all need encouragement. we can be encouragers too! by our lives.
oh wells... thank all of you bros (WG)... for your encouragement on each other.
i really hope we do continue this race together. and i do hope that our wg will not be based on us. but, ya.. you know where im driving at. (though i wont be taking my driving lessons anytime soon. haha.) thank all of you who wished me. Thanks. even though it can be an auto thing for some of us, i'm still encouraged.
haha... birthdays.
have they become a day where we have an excuse to celebrate the great ME?
i dont celebrate my birthday. and there was a year i even forgot.
oh wells, in this fallen world...
not that there's anything wrong in celebrating... in fact it's probably normal. im weird and atypical, u see. :D
who do we go to for support?
buddies?
stead?
parents (i doubt many will, yea? unfortunately)?
no one?
some stranger we meet in chat room or on the streets?
??? ?
we are human, and so we need human support and companionship... but because we're human, we fail too. humans fail each other. but the Almighty will not. know this, not because it's some abstract stoopeed concept, but cuz i know. first hand.
oh wells...
i know not what im typing anymore... cuz i seem not to be reflecting much these past weeks. reflecting in all sense of the word. oh wells... not really all. cuz i dont pose in front of the mirror everyhour, and exclaim how handsome and good-looking, and christ-like i am... ;P
LORD help.
no reflections (insights) in. no reflections (of Him) out.
have i lost it?
what?
i don't really know.
it seems blurry sometimes. when we just don't know what on earth is going on. or rather, we do. but... we don't.
so we don't know what is going on. but we do. and yet we don't. or do we?
heh...
crap... i really know not what i'm typing already. lack of sleep? i dunno. oh wells, stressed i am.
(tensile stress, compression stress, shear stress... oops.. sorry. )
escapism, i hope not to continue.
oh wellll....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With All I Am
into your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for you Lord
you hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I'm yours forever
[CHORUS]
Jesus I believe in you
Jesus I belong to you
you're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
with all I am
I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you
and I will live
in all of your ways and
your promises forever
[CHORUS]
I will worship
I will worship you forever
i hope i can sing and mean what i sing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
of leading others further than you've gone, and of rebel fingers.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
another of those "is it coincidences"...
"The Lord gives and takes away."
different ones have this as part of their msn nick...
reminder. reminder. reminder.
is it timely? i dunno.
but it's still a good reminder...
:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and exactly half my poly life is over. 3 sems done. 3 sems ahead.
oh wells, not exactly... still have exams for this sem.. hahaha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shall not blog for the sake of blogging.
and i wonder what this sat's msg gonna be on blogging... :D
it seems we can have a template for blogging...
:D:D oh wells.
"The Lord gives and takes away."
different ones have this as part of their msn nick...
reminder. reminder. reminder.
is it timely? i dunno.
but it's still a good reminder...
:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and exactly half my poly life is over. 3 sems done. 3 sems ahead.
oh wells, not exactly... still have exams for this sem.. hahaha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shall not blog for the sake of blogging.
and i wonder what this sat's msg gonna be on blogging... :D
it seems we can have a template for blogging...
"sian, today was so _________________________ [sian, boring, tiring, screwed] sia. woke up, pissed, and i went to piss. then i brush my teeth. then i wash my face. got new pimple.
so i eat breakfast lor. then go to sch lor.
sch was boring today. _____________________ [so and so] was being his/her bitchy/idiotic self. so pissed with him/her la! piang, wish i could just _______________ [strangle, whack, shoot, kill] that friggin' _____________________ [open answer].
then i and _________________ [peeps' names]went out. AND WE _______________________[TOOK NEOPRINTS, shopping, something stupid, crazy] !!!! XDXD yipee!!!! yays...
and when we were at ________________ [somewhere], _________ [someone] started to do _________________ [something dumb and stupid].
man it was so fun!!!!! xP ^.^
and some pics!!!
*some pic*
this is me in ____________________ [subject] lesson
*some pic*
this is me again in ____________________ [subject] lesson
*some pic*
me again!!! i so cute hor =D
*some ridiculous pic*
this is me and ____________ [peep's name].
[some ridiculous caption to go with the ridiculous pic, followed by lotsa "!!!!!!!!!"]
*some pic*
this is me at ______________ [somewhere]
*some pic*
me again!!!
sian... now have to go do stupid _________________ [subject, usually "chinese"] homework.
________________ [teacher's name] is such a __________________________ [open answer]
sigh, its ________________________ [some evening time] liaoz... so sianz lorx! everyday life is so boring. and everyday must rant here.... sianz... then must take pic of myself. lucky the camera lens is pretty strong... cuz IM SO CUTE!!!! IM SO RANDOM!!! lalalala.
heex....goodnight.... hahahaz xD =) ^.^ "
:D:D oh wells.
Monday, July 17, 2006
yep.
learnt lots.
thought lots.
wondered lots.
saw lots.
went through lots.
parking lots??? ;P
the week has lots. not Abraham's nephew though.
i have been contrasting lots of things this week.
true sincerity vs true insincerity
sincere concern vs immature scorn.
faith in the Almighty vs logical is-it-possible-ness.
and you see people's character revealed through different actions, reactions.
some, you're touched. others, turned off.
i wonder how some can manage to be so, erm, *ahem* 'mature', giggling at others and yet at the same time, when being exhorted by someone to stop doing something harmful to themselves, they take it offensively and say that they're quarrelling.
i wonder if i should even blog this.
but my point is that, our lives (me included)... are so filled with inconsistencies, such descrepancies, such contradictions.
oh wells.
this is life.
and i wonder... is it possible to know someone for a lonng time, and yet at the same time not know that person at all.
rhetoric qn.
ans is obvious.
oh wells.
this is life.
as we move on in our stations of life, our various relationships will evolve and change. some get stronger, others... sad to say... just dissipate or dissolve. at the same time, you get new friendships/relationships which may replace those that dissolved. oh wells...
relationships also change as people change. even more so, when both parties are changing at the same time.
oh wells.
this is life.
move on.
i don't know about tomorrow. ... but i know Who holds my hand.
Jesus, You are my best friend, You will always be.
and why are you reading this nonsense???
don't read... must i keep warning you????
;P
learnt lots.
thought lots.
wondered lots.
saw lots.
went through lots.
parking lots??? ;P
the week has lots. not Abraham's nephew though.
i have been contrasting lots of things this week.
true sincerity vs true insincerity
sincere concern vs immature scorn.
faith in the Almighty vs logical is-it-possible-ness.
and you see people's character revealed through different actions, reactions.
some, you're touched. others, turned off.
i wonder how some can manage to be so, erm, *ahem* 'mature', giggling at others and yet at the same time, when being exhorted by someone to stop doing something harmful to themselves, they take it offensively and say that they're quarrelling.
i wonder if i should even blog this.
but my point is that, our lives (me included)... are so filled with inconsistencies, such descrepancies, such contradictions.
oh wells.
this is life.
and i wonder... is it possible to know someone for a lonng time, and yet at the same time not know that person at all.
rhetoric qn.
ans is obvious.
oh wells.
this is life.
as we move on in our stations of life, our various relationships will evolve and change. some get stronger, others... sad to say... just dissipate or dissolve. at the same time, you get new friendships/relationships which may replace those that dissolved. oh wells...
relationships also change as people change. even more so, when both parties are changing at the same time.
oh wells.
this is life.
move on.
i don't know about tomorrow. ... but i know Who holds my hand.
Jesus, You are my best friend, You will always be.
and why are you reading this nonsense???
don't read... must i keep warning you????
;P
Friday, July 14, 2006
of leaning on ppl, mountains, and Master.
my friend's msn nick:
人靠人。 人跑。人靠山。山倒。 人靠主。最好。
men depend on men. men run. men depend on mountain. mountain zao.
men depend on Master. great.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and indeed i gotta depend on my Master.
with an utterly ridiculously high no. of reports at one go.
with an immense role in a camp.
with deadlines, and ministry commitments needing a balance.
indeed i gotta depend on my Master.
oh wells...
this week has been another of those 'oh wells' weeks.
im sure i can learn things from my sch's poly 50. something happened.
and im sure i learnt lots.
and it was touching to see the love of fellow Bros and Sisters (Siss???) in Christ.
the concern shown was really immense. and i thank Him he put me here.
in CF.
that's what He calls us to be, isn't it???
a community of love.
and that's what we're not doing. in churches. in our own lives.
but, again, we know our own nature.
we know that we cannot do it on our own.
"we can't do it on your own, except by HIm" becomes especially poignant when YOu see what He does.
leaning on other people? leaning on the great mountains and pedestals of our lives?
leaning on Master?
人靠人。 人跑。
人靠山。山倒。
人靠主。最好。
人靠人。 人跑。人靠山。山倒。 人靠主。最好。
men depend on men. men run. men depend on mountain. mountain zao.
men depend on Master. great.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and indeed i gotta depend on my Master.
with an utterly ridiculously high no. of reports at one go.
with an immense role in a camp.
with deadlines, and ministry commitments needing a balance.
indeed i gotta depend on my Master.
oh wells...
this week has been another of those 'oh wells' weeks.
im sure i can learn things from my sch's poly 50. something happened.
and im sure i learnt lots.
and it was touching to see the love of fellow Bros and Sisters (Siss???) in Christ.
the concern shown was really immense. and i thank Him he put me here.
in CF.
that's what He calls us to be, isn't it???
a community of love.
and that's what we're not doing. in churches. in our own lives.
but, again, we know our own nature.
we know that we cannot do it on our own.
"we can't do it on your own, except by HIm" becomes especially poignant when YOu see what He does.
leaning on other people? leaning on the great mountains and pedestals of our lives?
leaning on Master?
人靠人。 人跑。
人靠山。山倒。
人靠主。最好。
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
amazing???
it's amazing how when strangers pray for you, their prayers speak to you profoundly. especially when they concern matters that are close to my heart. and it wasn't only one person. somehow i had three people praying for me this morning, when it was just supposed to be one(married) pray for one(single). all three prayed different things, but they were profoundly simple (simply profound???)...
maybe it's His Spirit. no. it IS His Spirit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's also amazing how great our sinful nature is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but far more amazing, is how God is God.
how he would even give us Him.
and we all live in an utterly unfair relationship.
not to us.
but we're the ones making it 'unfair'.
think about this:
you'll only get hurt by someone, if you love that person.
more love. more potential hurt.
and the love God has on us is infinite. or maybe infinite is an understatement.
and we hurt Him day in day out.
we betray Him.
we break promises with Him.
we rebel against Him.
we think we are greater.
more love. more hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's amazing how quickly we forget too.
you know where i'm driving at ya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's amazing i was born on 1877... :D:D
maybe it's His Spirit. no. it IS His Spirit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's also amazing how great our sinful nature is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but far more amazing, is how God is God.
how he would even give us Him.
and we all live in an utterly unfair relationship.
not to us.
but we're the ones making it 'unfair'.
think about this:
you'll only get hurt by someone, if you love that person.
more love. more potential hurt.
and the love God has on us is infinite. or maybe infinite is an understatement.
and we hurt Him day in day out.
we betray Him.
we break promises with Him.
we rebel against Him.
we think we are greater.
more love. more hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's amazing how quickly we forget too.
you know where i'm driving at ya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's amazing i was born on 1877... :D:D
i got my own town!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
how can?
how can a request for me to take up a certain role in a certain ministry actually affirm and confirm the ministry i (think) am called to?
how can angry and frustrating thoughts actually just disappear?
how can a person who seems bent on discrediting the idea of God, christianity and its central figure, Jesus, be a true earnest seeker on what really matters in life?
how can?
how?
no... Who...
God.
how can angry and frustrating thoughts actually just disappear?
how can a person who seems bent on discrediting the idea of God, christianity and its central figure, Jesus, be a true earnest seeker on what really matters in life?
how can?
how?
no... Who...
God.
Monday, June 19, 2006
after staying at the high-class stable :P
or the palace of the golden horses.....
oh wells...
mixed feelings...
many areas of my own personal growth, i suppose...
and you see a new persepective of others with your interactions.
made better friends with some, and was disappointed with others.
oh wells... i guess familiarity DOES breed contempt....
the other party's/parties' fault are magnified cuz of the duration you know each other.
as i reflected on the bus back to S'pore ALONE (yea i was alone with no one i knew... which was good cuz it gave me a time to reflect...), i realised alot of things which i probably need to deal with.
sometimes from my own mistakes, and that of others.
and sometimes the erm,mistakes or 'just a slip of tongue' we make behind the backs of so-called friends are not exactly the most constructive...
i would rather you come up to me and tell me whatever you're pissed at or have some comments... i will greatly appreciate it rather than you kp-ing behind me and some other guy you kp-ed to, telling me what you kp-ed about. :)
and we go along life kp-ing abt this complaining about that,
saying 'loving and selfless' things like "it should be like that.", "he shouldn't do this in this manner", "my way is correct, his way is wrong", "the world would be a better place if so and so thought things this way"....
and we go on in life complaning about others complaining, and kp-ing about how
so-and-so kp too much, and complaing about how so-and-so kp too much, and kp-ing about others complain.
oh wells, having said these, who am i to say this?
for i am not exactly very constructive sometimes...
and as i reflected on the bus (both literally and non-literally, cuz the bus windows were pretty smooth.... :P) that the more we kp about someone, the more we do not see the faults and cracks of our own character. and ironically, we'll end up exactly as the other party whom we're urinating on.ERM. i meant the other party whom we're pissed off at.
oh wells. lets grow in whatever areas of our lives together.
it's a refinement.
not easy we all know.
and stagnant growth=no growth=dying.
guess i've been blessed (or cursed?) with many people around me who are dogmatic and idealistic and sometimes legalistic in nature.
it's a process that has sometimes encouraged me with their idealism to change this and impact that....
but it's also a process that has cheesed me off once too many times with their "my way is always correct" stance, and wanting others to join them in their passions and whatever they're currently at or on, (or their calling)...
maybe this is me too? for there is a saying "you are your worst enemy". and it can mean that the quirks and flaws we hate about the ppl around us, are the actual things in our own character that annoys others...
maybe this is a chance for me to grow in dealing with people of this erm, 'calibre'...
or it could also be that i should be as decisive as these ppl around me. i know i cheesed off many with my indecisiveness sometimes and i do know full well it's not helpful sometimes. i also know that it's something i need improvement on.
*looks up at text above on what i would rather appreciate you would have done...*
both ways.
it's not a single way street. and we need two hands to clap... (though we can also snap our fingers...... ;P )
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
but i'm having mixed feelings too about what the next few months. in web. where am i? i felt so torn. so neither-here-nor-there.
i knew going for the adult sessions in the camp would benefit me (which it did... solid!) but during the camp i got to see the perspective that we can be encouragers in the ministry.
yup... but am i called here to serve?
i don't know. not yet at least.
and it will be pointless and defeating the purpose if we serve with no calling. this is a fact, im sure is pretty obvious...
but we see people coming and 'serve' every week. and they come to service juz to 'serve'... or rather they're on duty that week. but i digress.
GOD, be sovereign.
oh wells...
mixed feelings...
many areas of my own personal growth, i suppose...
and you see a new persepective of others with your interactions.
made better friends with some, and was disappointed with others.
oh wells... i guess familiarity DOES breed contempt....
the other party's/parties' fault are magnified cuz of the duration you know each other.
as i reflected on the bus back to S'pore ALONE (yea i was alone with no one i knew... which was good cuz it gave me a time to reflect...), i realised alot of things which i probably need to deal with.
sometimes from my own mistakes, and that of others.
and sometimes the erm,mistakes or 'just a slip of tongue' we make behind the backs of so-called friends are not exactly the most constructive...
i would rather you come up to me and tell me whatever you're pissed at or have some comments... i will greatly appreciate it rather than you kp-ing behind me and some other guy you kp-ed to, telling me what you kp-ed about. :)
and we go along life kp-ing abt this complaining about that,
saying 'loving and selfless' things like "it should be like that.", "he shouldn't do this in this manner", "my way is correct, his way is wrong", "the world would be a better place if so and so thought things this way"....
and we go on in life complaning about others complaining, and kp-ing about how
so-and-so kp too much, and complaing about how so-and-so kp too much, and kp-ing about others complain.
oh wells, having said these, who am i to say this?
for i am not exactly very constructive sometimes...
and as i reflected on the bus (both literally and non-literally, cuz the bus windows were pretty smooth.... :P) that the more we kp about someone, the more we do not see the faults and cracks of our own character. and ironically, we'll end up exactly as the other party whom we're urinating on.ERM. i meant the other party whom we're pissed off at.
oh wells. lets grow in whatever areas of our lives together.
it's a refinement.
not easy we all know.
and stagnant growth=no growth=dying.
guess i've been blessed (or cursed?) with many people around me who are dogmatic and idealistic and sometimes legalistic in nature.
it's a process that has sometimes encouraged me with their idealism to change this and impact that....
but it's also a process that has cheesed me off once too many times with their "my way is always correct" stance, and wanting others to join them in their passions and whatever they're currently at or on, (or their calling)...
maybe this is me too? for there is a saying "you are your worst enemy". and it can mean that the quirks and flaws we hate about the ppl around us, are the actual things in our own character that annoys others...
maybe this is a chance for me to grow in dealing with people of this erm, 'calibre'...
or it could also be that i should be as decisive as these ppl around me. i know i cheesed off many with my indecisiveness sometimes and i do know full well it's not helpful sometimes. i also know that it's something i need improvement on.
*looks up at text above on what i would rather appreciate you would have done...*
both ways.
it's not a single way street. and we need two hands to clap... (though we can also snap our fingers...... ;P )
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
but i'm having mixed feelings too about what the next few months. in web. where am i? i felt so torn. so neither-here-nor-there.
i knew going for the adult sessions in the camp would benefit me (which it did... solid!) but during the camp i got to see the perspective that we can be encouragers in the ministry.
yup... but am i called here to serve?
i don't know. not yet at least.
and it will be pointless and defeating the purpose if we serve with no calling. this is a fact, im sure is pretty obvious...
but we see people coming and 'serve' every week. and they come to service juz to 'serve'... or rather they're on duty that week. but i digress.
GOD, be sovereign.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
on the 060606
cool date today....
no.
not ang zor (red dates). nor that fruit that camels eat....
and no.... not the pat tor type... i'm still single =P .
anyway... today's 060606. and the superstitious and the enterprising get all worked up today. be it a movie on Old Men ( or is it Omen????), good astrological day to get married, or bad luck day and u intend to stay at home cuz u scared today's gonna be the end of the world, or whatever...
but what's all the hype about 666?
it came from Revelations 13:18.
But before we go into a debate or whatever, maybe we should have IBS (lvl 4)... haha....
but why should we fear the end of the world?
why should we fear death?
we will fear, only if we do not have any hope. and if we have any notion of judgement, all the more, we will fear.
do u fear?
or do u have the hope?
since u know u have the hope, what should u do?
__________________________________________________________
actually this post was to jump on the "bandwagon" about post-GDOP.
(i make it seem so trivia)
well...
The Global Day of Prayer 2006.
to be frankly honest, GDOP was like any prayer meeting
the difference?
that many churches and christians came AS ONE.
that you see a preview of the day where Singapore makes a U-turn and WILL confess that HE is LORD.
.
.
.
a man was shouting about how christians are full of hypocrites and politics. and i dunnowadelsehewasshoutingabout but i heard lotsa "riots!.......riots!!@$&"
need i say more?
much has been said already. (see archives)
anyway, it was really a privilege to be a flag-bearer/flaggy/flagger/flag-waver? .
manage to hold the same flag throughout. was wondering if i would get any country that i was burdened before to pray for, like Cambodia?(i wasn't and still isn't sure though. but that another time.)
and it was communist North Korea...
will this trigger a burden to pray for North Korea?
__________________________________________________________
lotsa things to do. not much time.
no.
not ang zor (red dates). nor that fruit that camels eat....
and no.... not the pat tor type... i'm still single =P .
anyway... today's 060606. and the superstitious and the enterprising get all worked up today. be it a movie on Old Men ( or is it Omen????), good astrological day to get married, or bad luck day and u intend to stay at home cuz u scared today's gonna be the end of the world, or whatever...
but what's all the hype about 666?
it came from Revelations 13:18.
But before we go into a debate or whatever, maybe we should have IBS (lvl 4)... haha....
but why should we fear the end of the world?
why should we fear death?
we will fear, only if we do not have any hope. and if we have any notion of judgement, all the more, we will fear.
do u fear?
or do u have the hope?
since u know u have the hope, what should u do?
__________________________________________________________
actually this post was to jump on the "bandwagon" about post-GDOP.
(i make it seem so trivia)
well...
The Global Day of Prayer 2006.
to be frankly honest, GDOP was like any prayer meeting
the difference?
that many churches and christians came AS ONE.
that you see a preview of the day where Singapore makes a U-turn and WILL confess that HE is LORD.
.
.
.
a man was shouting about how christians are full of hypocrites and politics. and i dunnowadelsehewasshoutingabout but i heard lotsa "riots!.......riots!!@$&"
need i say more?
much has been said already. (see archives)
anyway, it was really a privilege to be a flag-bearer/flaggy/flagger/flag-waver? .
manage to hold the same flag throughout. was wondering if i would get any country that i was burdened before to pray for, like Cambodia?(i wasn't and still isn't sure though. but that another time.)
and it was communist North Korea...
will this trigger a burden to pray for North Korea?
__________________________________________________________
lotsa things to do. not much time.
Monday, May 29, 2006
on a dark, and stormy sunday....
it was pouring super heavily a late sunday morning...
4 guys went to lunch, or rather, brunch, and wanted to go back to church.
but was pretty difficult to go back due to the rain.
a couple saw them and GAVE these 4 fellas their umbrella.
later that day...
their car skidded and crashed.
it was a fatal one.
they lost their son, and mother.
while the woman is in critical condition, with a ruptured liver.
pray.
4 guys went to lunch, or rather, brunch, and wanted to go back to church.
but was pretty difficult to go back due to the rain.
a couple saw them and GAVE these 4 fellas their umbrella.
later that day...
their car skidded and crashed.
it was a fatal one.
they lost their son, and mother.
while the woman is in critical condition, with a ruptured liver.
pray.
Friday, May 26, 2006
ya man.... quite true...
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 You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll! |
Monday, May 22, 2006
impulse is not good..
done things on impulse?
or rather, thought thru the whole thing, weighing the pros and cons, and coming to the conclusion that u might just regret it if u do carry it out, but heck.... Impossible Is Nothing.... (huh?)
oops.... wrong tagline... pai seh...
i mean, Just Do It....
now regretting something i knew i wd regret, which i carried on anyway, and now regretting something i knew i wd regret, which i carried on anyway, and now.....
thought thru it impulsively, or impulsively thought thru it?
doesnt make sense...
darn.
i just hope for the best... that something screw up, and it didnt get thru....
hahaaha!
but what was the impetus that i carried it out anyway?
or rather, thought thru the whole thing, weighing the pros and cons, and coming to the conclusion that u might just regret it if u do carry it out, but heck.... Impossible Is Nothing.... (huh?)
oops.... wrong tagline... pai seh...
i mean, Just Do It....
now regretting something i knew i wd regret, which i carried on anyway, and now regretting something i knew i wd regret, which i carried on anyway, and now.....
thought thru it impulsively, or impulsively thought thru it?
doesnt make sense...
darn.
i just hope for the best... that something screw up, and it didnt get thru....
hahaaha!
but what was the impetus that i carried it out anyway?
Friday, May 19, 2006
another of those few-posts-in-one....
something's really wrong when you're perpetually tired.
never refreshed.... what's wrong???
i dunno.... too tired to find out... :D:D
_____________________________________________
was talking to a friend (u know who u r, if u ever read this... hahaha!) ,
abt the ever engaging topic BGR....
(not a short form of Burger, unfortunately..)
haha...
contentment is needed in this discontent world.......
____________________________________________
there are things in life which are necessary, but not a neccessity.
get your proirities right...
_____________________________________________
And in life, just do your best, but don't try too hard.
sometimes if u try to hard to do things, like pleasing people, it will backfire...
live to please God.
After all, why were we created even? (hint: glory)
______________________________________________
and it's pretty annoying that people blog a few lines and then go on to another topic without elaborating.. and typing long underscores to make separating lines, claiming it's a few posts in one... sigh.. these people.
_________________________________________________
and remember to brush your teeth twice a day. eat your veggies and fruits. dont eat too much oily food, and eat everything in moderation.
Also, be loyal to country. Don't speed. I'm Loving It. It's Finger Likin' Good
Join the Air Force, as it is like Nothing On Earth.
__________________________________________________
never refreshed.... what's wrong???
i dunno.... too tired to find out... :D:D
_____________________________________________
was talking to a friend (u know who u r, if u ever read this... hahaha!) ,
abt the ever engaging topic BGR....
(not a short form of Burger, unfortunately..)
haha...
contentment is needed in this discontent world.......
____________________________________________
there are things in life which are necessary, but not a neccessity.
get your proirities right...
_____________________________________________
And in life, just do your best, but don't try too hard.
sometimes if u try to hard to do things, like pleasing people, it will backfire...
live to please God.
After all, why were we created even? (hint: glory)
______________________________________________
and it's pretty annoying that people blog a few lines and then go on to another topic without elaborating.. and typing long underscores to make separating lines, claiming it's a few posts in one... sigh.. these people.
_________________________________________________
and remember to brush your teeth twice a day. eat your veggies and fruits. dont eat too much oily food, and eat everything in moderation.
Also, be loyal to country. Don't speed. I'm Loving It. It's Finger Likin' Good
Join the Air Force, as it is like Nothing On Earth.
__________________________________________________
Monday, May 15, 2006
hmm... why is the word depressed, 'depressed'? And not 'bloody-downcast' or 'super-sad-until-do-stupid-things'????
could it be because it is de-pressing on the race of life, where u just want to give it all up?
God, be glorified.
how?
when u feel life is so screwed up. so fatigued. so tired.
God, be LORD.
how?
when you have so many things (and people) bothering you. when you feel on the verge of breaking down.
a famous poem....
DON'T QUIT
When things go wrong as they sometimes will.
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about.
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must NOT quit.
could it be because it is de-pressing on the race of life, where u just want to give it all up?
God, be glorified.
how?
when u feel life is so screwed up. so fatigued. so tired.
God, be LORD.
how?
when you have so many things (and people) bothering you. when you feel on the verge of breaking down.
a famous poem....
DON'T QUIT
When things go wrong as they sometimes will.
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about.
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must NOT quit.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
familiarity breeds contempt?
familiarity breeds contempt
Long experience of someone or something can make one so aware of the faults as to be scornful. For example, They were best of friends, but as time went on, both of them started to quarrel a lot as they knew each others' weaknesses too much- familiarity breeds contempt. The idea is much older, but the first recorded use of this expression was in Chaucer's Tale of Melibee (c. 1386).
hmmm.....
trust is to be earned. and it can be lost too......
easier lost than earned.
ever had a situation where u know a person(s) so well that after awhile, people lose the respect for each other, the respect that began the friendship and even held it. the friends know each other well, their weaknesses, strengths, passions, crushes etc.... then it turns to intense dislike for each other(s).... that's the definition of contempt in this context, by the way.
friendship to disunity.
and enmity...
what sort of life are we going thru without friendships?
yet when the very friends u seek become your worst enemy....
ironic? no.... steelic.... :D
irony with carbon.
add chromium to be stainless steel....
erm
erm
erm....
haha...
but... i wonder what i would do and how to react if such a thing happens to me.... if it ever happens, how will i deal with such a situation(s)amicably...
call upon Him lor....
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
what do we talk about when we get together????
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way.
21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.
22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
23to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.
28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 5
1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.-Ephesians 4:20-5:4
i'm sorry Lord.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
can tahan?
refining process never is easy.
each time you think that you have solved your problems, your footholds, your issues, and that they are no longer there which will make us jump for joy....
and at the most idiotic time, you find that no, they are far from being addressed.
we need GOD.
HE's.refining. us. can tahan not?
and sometimes i feel this refining process take place when we have annoying people.
or rather, people or traits that annoy and irritate us. or even make us angry.
it is always said that we are our worst enemy....
we see the fault in others, but not ourselves.
how can it be that i am liddat too??
no... i am faultless...
i have all the right to point out your mistakes, but me? having those same mistakes??? RIDICULOUS!!!!that's an insult!
sometimes we tend to think this way.....
people around you that annoy you greatly?
"he should be doing this!"
"she should have done it this way..."
"i don't understand why must you always be like that!"
"look what i have done for you, what sacrifices i have made for you. and ask yourself what you have done for me?"
familiar?
why is it familiar?
is it coz we heard it from people around us??
why is it not because it is we ourselves who think like that too?
when we see the fault of others, guess we should just ask, ponder, reflect, contemplate the question why we get frustrated or pissed in the forst place...
is it coz we ourselves are liddat too?????
it's not gonna be easy.
each time you think that you have solved your problems, your footholds, your issues, and that they are no longer there which will make us jump for joy....
and at the most idiotic time, you find that no, they are far from being addressed.
we need GOD.
HE's.refining. us. can tahan not?
and sometimes i feel this refining process take place when we have annoying people.
or rather, people or traits that annoy and irritate us. or even make us angry.
it is always said that we are our worst enemy....
we see the fault in others, but not ourselves.
how can it be that i am liddat too??
no... i am faultless...
i have all the right to point out your mistakes, but me? having those same mistakes??? RIDICULOUS!!!!that's an insult!
sometimes we tend to think this way.....
people around you that annoy you greatly?
"he should be doing this!"
"she should have done it this way..."
"i don't understand why must you always be like that!"
"look what i have done for you, what sacrifices i have made for you. and ask yourself what you have done for me?"
familiar?
why is it familiar?
is it coz we heard it from people around us??
why is it not because it is we ourselves who think like that too?
when we see the fault of others, guess we should just ask, ponder, reflect, contemplate the question why we get frustrated or pissed in the forst place...
is it coz we ourselves are liddat too?????
it's not gonna be easy.
Friday, March 31, 2006
3 posts in one...
did i contradict myself?
when the temptings and the charm of this materialistic world come our way...
will we still be good stewards of the money and time entrusted to us?
will we be swayed away, and seduced by these material wealth?
i hope i will get my focus right when it happens.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a sms i received recently.... it seemed very familiar.... as if i had received it before, or i could have been the one who sent it... not sure.. but that's totally of the main point...
probably circulating for a few years already.... probably more than 5...
but look at it...
realise something???
that as it goes down the list, it gets more difficult...
and for most... almost impossible at the last.
to thank God non-stop.
ok... maybe not literally...
but, we should have a heart and attitude of thanksgiving...
this message i received, was utterly encouraging for me...
and it also challenged me.
am i able to praise, seek, worship, trust and thank Him in different areas of my life? will i be able to trust Him when difficult times come? or thank Him at all times?
not easy... ... ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
here are two videos...
one was taken after one of the Discipleship Training sessions where we were in a room with big, bouncy excercise balls, a camera, and a bunch of bored and crazy people.
weird things are bound to happen...
the second one, is taken out of context of the first, and is done by somebody in my WG as a 'tribute' to his webbers, and he hopes this will be an encouragement to them that they will press on, and grow in different areas of their lives. he also hopes that they will remember that in whatever ministry they're in, it does not belong to them at all, but to God. gotta know what this statement really means...
and i hope that it's true for you too....
it is a "silent movie of sorts"... so if you cannot tolerate the deafening silence.. don't watch.. hahah...
DISCLAIMER:
this video is not meant to make fun of those who have congenital retardation of their mind or those who are born with sub-normal IQ level...
"retard" is meant to refer to ridiculous, clumsy and stupid behaviour.
when the temptings and the charm of this materialistic world come our way...
will we still be good stewards of the money and time entrusted to us?
will we be swayed away, and seduced by these material wealth?
i hope i will get my focus right when it happens.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy moments,
Praise God.
Difficult moments,
Seek God.
Quiet moments,
Worship God.
Painful moments,
Trust God.
Every moment,
Thank God.
a sms i received recently.... it seemed very familiar.... as if i had received it before, or i could have been the one who sent it... not sure.. but that's totally of the main point...
probably circulating for a few years already.... probably more than 5...
but look at it...
realise something???
that as it goes down the list, it gets more difficult...
and for most... almost impossible at the last.
to thank God non-stop.
ok... maybe not literally...
but, we should have a heart and attitude of thanksgiving...
this message i received, was utterly encouraging for me...
and it also challenged me.
am i able to praise, seek, worship, trust and thank Him in different areas of my life? will i be able to trust Him when difficult times come? or thank Him at all times?
not easy... ... ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
here are two videos...
one was taken after one of the Discipleship Training sessions where we were in a room with big, bouncy excercise balls, a camera, and a bunch of bored and crazy people.
weird things are bound to happen...
the second one, is taken out of context of the first, and is done by somebody in my WG as a 'tribute' to his webbers, and he hopes this will be an encouragement to them that they will press on, and grow in different areas of their lives. he also hopes that they will remember that in whatever ministry they're in, it does not belong to them at all, but to God. gotta know what this statement really means...
and i hope that it's true for you too....
it is a "silent movie of sorts"... so if you cannot tolerate the deafening silence.. don't watch.. hahah...
DISCLAIMER:
this video is not meant to make fun of those who have congenital retardation of their mind or those who are born with sub-normal IQ level...
"retard" is meant to refer to ridiculous, clumsy and stupid behaviour.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
LORD?
i realised that i was posted to a specialisation that i really do not want to go. Crap...
only have myself to blame.
i AM disappointed.
i will probably be alone, and separated from my buddies i made in yr1... sigh... it's so rare that deep friendships occur in schools. as in really deep ones... sigh... i take friendships seriously, and this is me lah...
but as someone reminded me recently....
don't let friendships and relationships be an idol.
because i have a Best Friend in Christ!
i don't want to wallow in my self-pity and make the situation seem like it's beyond cure... as if i will be barred from any job opportunities... (though it IS true that my specialisation now has a very very small job scope in Singapore.... )
i hope and PRAY that it will be a blessing in disguise...
Actually.. i KNOW it will be a blessing in disguise. it will be to show those around me just how GREAT A GOD I WORSHIP. i believe, really in faith, that His glory will be shown.
no, really!
because HE IS SOVEREIGN AND LORD.
as JonQ said during a recent wg meeting...
we truly need to know the meaning of LORD. or when we address Him as LORD.
are we practicing our lives with Him as LORD?
or it's just a thing we mouth out when we pray? (that's if we even pray in the first place...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need to surrender...
i thot this issue was over...
i thot that i had surrendered...
i thot i had trusted Him to provide me.
i thot.
but did i?
now... it's more complicated... as if my life was a movie or play or even a TV serial......
(or like that Navy advert says.... "if life were a movie, would it be a good one???")with new characters popping into the scene... making peaceful status quo complicated, and messing up thoughts, feelings and even lives...
God.
please be LORD of my life.
only have myself to blame.
i AM disappointed.
i will probably be alone, and separated from my buddies i made in yr1... sigh... it's so rare that deep friendships occur in schools. as in really deep ones... sigh... i take friendships seriously, and this is me lah...
but as someone reminded me recently....
don't let friendships and relationships be an idol.
because i have a Best Friend in Christ!
i don't want to wallow in my self-pity and make the situation seem like it's beyond cure... as if i will be barred from any job opportunities... (though it IS true that my specialisation now has a very very small job scope in Singapore.... )
i hope and PRAY that it will be a blessing in disguise...
Actually.. i KNOW it will be a blessing in disguise. it will be to show those around me just how GREAT A GOD I WORSHIP. i believe, really in faith, that His glory will be shown.
no, really!
because HE IS SOVEREIGN AND LORD.
as JonQ said during a recent wg meeting...
we truly need to know the meaning of LORD. or when we address Him as LORD.
are we practicing our lives with Him as LORD?
or it's just a thing we mouth out when we pray? (that's if we even pray in the first place...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need to surrender...
i thot this issue was over...
i thot that i had surrendered...
i thot i had trusted Him to provide me.
i thot.
but did i?
now... it's more complicated... as if my life was a movie or play or even a TV serial......
(or like that Navy advert says.... "if life were a movie, would it be a good one???")with new characters popping into the scene... making peaceful status quo complicated, and messing up thoughts, feelings and even lives...
God.
please be LORD of my life.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
utterly packed fortnight
the past fortnight has been utterly packed.
yup. duh. nic... title says it all??? no need to repeat yourself???
the past fortnight has been utterly packed...
packed with meetings, preparations, scuttling and lessons for me....
why so?
juz hope that i won't be burnt out all over again... Though the busy-ness is juz during this period before the academic year starts...
but then.... i have a track record of being weary after awhile...
anyways... i hope as we get freshmen to come to Poly Christian Fellowhip, i hope that we will not lose focus... or aperture.. or shutter speed. (oops..)
that our God is sovereign, and He will answer the prayers of us...
that we will understand what it means when we pray, "as we are doing these, we are doing it for You".
i KNOW He will do His work in SP.
crap... this wasnt what i had in mind to blog... but oh wells... i forgot what i wanted to post initially le... haha
yup. duh. nic... title says it all??? no need to repeat yourself???
the past fortnight has been utterly packed...
packed with meetings, preparations, scuttling and lessons for me....
why so?
juz hope that i won't be burnt out all over again... Though the busy-ness is juz during this period before the academic year starts...
but then.... i have a track record of being weary after awhile...
anyways... i hope as we get freshmen to come to Poly Christian Fellowhip, i hope that we will not lose focus... or aperture.. or shutter speed. (oops..)
that our God is sovereign, and He will answer the prayers of us...
that we will understand what it means when we pray, "as we are doing these, we are doing it for You".
i KNOW He will do His work in SP.
crap... this wasnt what i had in mind to blog... but oh wells... i forgot what i wanted to post initially le... haha
Monday, March 20, 2006
hmmm... i just realised that this blog has been in existence for exactly 11 months le.... haha....
and this blogger did so without any net access at home!
(hence the boringness... not that it will be less boring when there is any net access at his home.. this blogger is boring)
yup... this blog is boring...
no point reading this..
no personal details of life like who this blogger likes or how school is dreary day after day, or complicated rantings etc etc...
haha.
and this blogger did so without any net access at home!
(hence the boringness... not that it will be less boring when there is any net access at his home.. this blogger is boring)
yup... this blog is boring...
no point reading this..
no personal details of life like who this blogger likes or how school is dreary day after day, or complicated rantings etc etc...
haha.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
another random boring post
why do we seek happiness and not joy?
why satisfaction not contentment?
why do we long for acceptance yet not accepting others?
why do we yearn for grace from our friends and yet not extend grace to those who are being sidelined?
why do we tell others to be righteous in this world, while we ourselves are double-minded?
we seek for romantic love, yet despise agape love.
why do we make sure we are busy, or addicted to whatever form of music, or even provoking others and say it is for Christ?
hmmmm.....
why satisfaction not contentment?
why do we long for acceptance yet not accepting others?
why do we yearn for grace from our friends and yet not extend grace to those who are being sidelined?
why do we tell others to be righteous in this world, while we ourselves are double-minded?
we seek for romantic love, yet despise agape love.
why do we make sure we are busy, or addicted to whatever form of music, or even provoking others and say it is for Christ?
hmmmm.....
Friday, March 03, 2006
love Him = obey Him
last few nights were one of those where you are sooo tired, and exhausted. And you plonk yourself on the bed, and find that you cannot sleep.
so many issues.
so many thoughts.
so many burdens.
and one big thing which makes me sigh alot.
recently i had grappled with my feelings regarding something or someone. it was the same old cycle, and wadeva wadeva. confusion, ecstacy, etc.... all rolled into one. until it abruptly stopped, leaving me to wonder what the heck went wrong. and also at the same time, i felt Him asking me to let this go, for it may be distracting me and might even be an idol in my life.....
but did i?
no.. in fact i was so unwilling to give it up. even when i knew Matthew 11:28-30.
wrestling with Him is never easy. battle of wills. and throughout, i knew it was to test and refine me. to say it was difficult is an understatement.
still going thru this. and sighing.
do i love my God? because The Word says if i love Him, i obey Him. so many in fact.
John 14:15,21,23,24
sigh.
help.
do i love Him?
am i obeying Him?
HELP.
SIGH.
so many issues.
so many thoughts.
so many burdens.
and one big thing which makes me sigh alot.
recently i had grappled with my feelings regarding something or someone. it was the same old cycle, and wadeva wadeva. confusion, ecstacy, etc.... all rolled into one. until it abruptly stopped, leaving me to wonder what the heck went wrong. and also at the same time, i felt Him asking me to let this go, for it may be distracting me and might even be an idol in my life.....
but did i?
no.. in fact i was so unwilling to give it up. even when i knew Matthew 11:28-30.
wrestling with Him is never easy. battle of wills. and throughout, i knew it was to test and refine me. to say it was difficult is an understatement.
still going thru this. and sighing.
do i love my God? because The Word says if i love Him, i obey Him. so many in fact.
John 14:15,21,23,24
sigh.
help.
do i love Him?
am i obeying Him?
HELP.
SIGH.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
UNITY IS NEEDED!
guard your hearts.
don't let any conflict, quarrel etc... seep into us this year.
cuz disunity is going to be scary.
it will cause ppl to fight, and unforgiveness to grow.
hatred will breed.
and ppl will leave the church.
guard your hearts and pray that disunity does not strike in WEB, WG, family, friendships, ministries.......
pray hard.
God will intervene.
i am writing this, for i have felt that disunity have struck (literally) already. and if we're not careful, more conflicts will occur. more fights will cause ppl to hate each other. more immaturity will seep in. more ppl will leave the church because of conflicts. and of course give the excuse, "i am no longer coming back to church for some personal reason"
guard your hearts!!!
PRAY!
don't let any conflict, quarrel etc... seep into us this year.
cuz disunity is going to be scary.
it will cause ppl to fight, and unforgiveness to grow.
hatred will breed.
and ppl will leave the church.
guard your hearts and pray that disunity does not strike in WEB, WG, family, friendships, ministries.......
pray hard.
God will intervene.
i am writing this, for i have felt that disunity have struck (literally) already. and if we're not careful, more conflicts will occur. more fights will cause ppl to hate each other. more immaturity will seep in. more ppl will leave the church because of conflicts. and of course give the excuse, "i am no longer coming back to church for some personal reason"
guard your hearts!!!
PRAY!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
sigh.
what's going on???
laptop crashed. somehow my comp profile can't be excessed by the repairman, but can excess the other profile, which is not mine. (i share the laptop, you see...)
and with no net access at home (YUP!!! I STILL DON'T!!) i couldn't backup my stuff online....
tho now i also regret not burning all my files on CDs... sigh.....
then there's exam tmr. and me going in unprepared! that module is sooo hard to do sia.... and crap... never prepare at all! it's only 17 hours away! not a long time, you know....
and there's irrational thought due to erm, i-dunno-wad-the-heck-is-it-but-it-causes-people-to-do-stupid-things-in-the-spur-of-the-moment-and-of-course-think-irrationally-and-i-also-dunno-why-i-am-putting-everything-in-one-hyphenated-word-which-doesn't-make-sense....
hahahahaha...
anyway... good day to all... hahahahahaha
what's going on???
laptop crashed. somehow my comp profile can't be excessed by the repairman, but can excess the other profile, which is not mine. (i share the laptop, you see...)
and with no net access at home (YUP!!! I STILL DON'T!!) i couldn't backup my stuff online....
tho now i also regret not burning all my files on CDs... sigh.....
then there's exam tmr. and me going in unprepared! that module is sooo hard to do sia.... and crap... never prepare at all! it's only 17 hours away! not a long time, you know....
and there's irrational thought due to erm, i-dunno-wad-the-heck-is-it-but-it-causes-people-to-do-stupid-things-in-the-spur-of-the-moment-and-of-course-think-irrationally-and-i-also-dunno-why-i-am-putting-everything-in-one-hyphenated-word-which-doesn't-make-sense....
hahahahaha...
anyway... good day to all... hahahahahaha
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
boring random post
different ones will have different definitons of what is a 'true friend'. is it one who is willing to be crazy with u? or is it the one who is willing to sit down, and listen to your struggles and rants?
sometimes, you can analyse people, and their character, when failure arrives.....
be it their failure or yours.
"huh? how can my failure see how my friend's character is???"
hmm... i might be wrong, but sometimes when you fail, or fall short of what has been expected of you, glance at how your friend will react...
will he/she encourage you and asks you to try again?
or laughs at you for making a fool of yourself?
in my view... true friends exhort one another...
not exalt. exhort.
that means must rebuke when your friend is going astray.
truth always hurts.
but it's that. it's the truth...
have we become so friendly that we've forgotten to be a friend?
there's a difference you know...
sigh, it's hard to think rationally when you're angry, disgusted, sad, betrayed, or even in love...
sometimes, you can analyse people, and their character, when failure arrives.....
be it their failure or yours.
"huh? how can my failure see how my friend's character is???"
hmm... i might be wrong, but sometimes when you fail, or fall short of what has been expected of you, glance at how your friend will react...
will he/she encourage you and asks you to try again?
or laughs at you for making a fool of yourself?
in my view... true friends exhort one another...
not exalt. exhort.
that means must rebuke when your friend is going astray.
truth always hurts.
but it's that. it's the truth...
have we become so friendly that we've forgotten to be a friend?
there's a difference you know...
sigh, it's hard to think rationally when you're angry, disgusted, sad, betrayed, or even in love...
Friday, February 03, 2006
"Here I am, Lord. Is it I Lord?"
Here I Am Lord
~Dan Schutte
I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.
I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?
Chorus:
Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.
I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have borne my peoples pain.
I have wept for love of them,
They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak My word to them,
Whom shall I send?
(Chorus)
I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?
(Chorus)
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
your friends...
anyway... here is a good poem for you people who never attend adult svc... think about it. and check your own response to your friends here on earth... :
"MY FRIEND"
My Friend, I Stand In Judgement Now
And Feel That You're To Blame Somehow
On Earth I Walked with You Day By Day
And Never Did You Point The Way
You Knew The LORD In Truth And Glory
But Never Did You TellThe Story
My Knowledge Then Was Very Dim
You Could Have Led Me Safely ToHIM
Though We Lived Together On The Earth
You Never Told Me Of The Second Birth
And Now I Stand This Day Condemned
Because You Failed To Mention HIM
You Taught Me Many Things, That's True
I Called You Friend, I Trusted You
But I Learn Now That It's Too Late
You Could Have Kept Me From This Fate
We Walked By Day And Talked By Night
And Yet
You Showed Me Not The Light
You Let Me Live And Love And Die
You Knew
I'd Never Live On High
Yes, I Called you Friend In Life
And Trusted You Thru Joy And Strife
And Yet, On Coming To The End
I Cannot Now Call
You My Friend
[The Author Is Unknown]
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
i have a dream.
hmmm...
i wonder...
if a certain dream (or dreams) i had recently meant anything.
i dreamt that my muslim classmate was speaking to me, while we were going home frm sch.... and he said to me " i really very interested in christianity, i have been thinking about life issues, and stuff. ur religion really makes sense." and he went on to ask theological questions.
it did seem very very real!
though not the 1st, this was another of those dreams where i wake up, wondering if it's real or a dream.
this will make the "dreams-that-felt-so-real-and-spoke-to-me" list to 5.
and i wonder also if writing this post will put me in trouble also....
i wonder...
if a certain dream (or dreams) i had recently meant anything.
i dreamt that my muslim classmate was speaking to me, while we were going home frm sch.... and he said to me " i really very interested in christianity, i have been thinking about life issues, and stuff. ur religion really makes sense." and he went on to ask theological questions.
it did seem very very real!
though not the 1st, this was another of those dreams where i wake up, wondering if it's real or a dream.
this will make the "dreams-that-felt-so-real-and-spoke-to-me" list to 5.
and i wonder also if writing this post will put me in trouble also....
"... seems so far.... "
"... God, You seem so far away
a thousand miles or so each day..."
when i say i know what you mean by " God seems far away", i mean it.
but, as people always say... " who moved? you, or God", i know it's true also, that it is i.
why so?
cos recently ( or rather for the past whole month), this has been my spiritual life.
like i said in my previous post, i did nothing to remedy it.
i don't usually do this.
but can u pray for me?
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
addressing
was i blinded?
not literally.
but you know what i mean.
but.. blinded by what?
align="left">i still not sure myself.
was it the assignments, reports and tests (a great way to start the year) that were stressing me out?
was it a quarrel?
was it the fact that i am (and still) disappointed with myself, regarding issues yet to be addressed (and no... not the place of habitation) ?
was it tiredness?
numbness?
weariness?
was it cos i never set out to start what i had commited to do?
was it cos i have made some bloody wrong mistakes before?
why did i commit to this when i knew it would drain me?
why had i pressed on when people around me quitted?
why did i give up when everyone persevered?
what lies ahead for this ministry?
with figures of authority not setting THE example.
with no clear indication what is ahead.
with almost everyone outgoing or non-committed, or M.I.A.
while those FEW who remain.....
sigh
sigh
maybe my way of defence is to escape and not think about it.
or rationalise until things go in my favour.
talk about being in tune with God.
I wish i was.
like then.
or did it even happen?
i don't know.
i know where the problem is.
i know i gotta address these various issues of mine.
i know God has a plan for me.
i know this and that facts.
what do i do about it?
nothing.
in fact, gets worse.
but i am feeling better, as contrast to what you've just read at the top part of this entry. i was numb, tired, weary the past month. going thru day by day like an aimless scum wandering in the desert.... erm.. ok, not the best analogy to describe, but cant think of anything better.
i believe it's God's grace.
but it's time i REALLY stop taking His grace for granted.
and to also start to see His other aspects.
loving, caring, accepting,... the 'soft' side to God, and not only His graciousness and judgement.
someone recently pointed it
out to me........ ....... ....... .......
out to me........ ....... ....... .......
starting good... should finish good? right?
for me? no...
start good, finish lousy.
don't know what i am talking about?
neither do i.
oh, and a cliche for you:
"have a blessed new year ahead! i hope in the year ahead, you grow closer to HIM."
but... i really do mean it...
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