or the palace of the golden horses.....
oh wells...
mixed feelings...
many areas of my own personal growth, i suppose...
and you see a new persepective of others with your interactions.
made better friends with some, and was disappointed with others.
oh wells... i guess familiarity DOES breed contempt....
the other party's/parties' fault are magnified cuz of the duration you know each other.
as i reflected on the bus back to S'pore ALONE (yea i was alone with no one i knew... which was good cuz it gave me a time to reflect...), i realised alot of things which i probably need to deal with.
sometimes from my own mistakes, and that of others.
and sometimes the erm,mistakes or 'just a slip of tongue' we make behind the backs of so-called friends are not exactly the most constructive...
i would rather you come up to me and tell me whatever you're pissed at or have some comments... i will greatly appreciate it rather than you kp-ing behind me and some other guy you kp-ed to, telling me what you kp-ed about. :)
and we go along life kp-ing abt this complaining about that,
saying 'loving and selfless' things like "it should be like that.", "he shouldn't do this in this manner", "my way is correct, his way is wrong", "the world would be a better place if so and so thought things this way"....
and we go on in life complaning about others complaining, and kp-ing about how
so-and-so kp too much, and complaing about how so-and-so kp too much, and kp-ing about others complain.
oh wells, having said these, who am i to say this?
for i am not exactly very constructive sometimes...
and as i reflected on the bus (both literally and non-literally, cuz the bus windows were pretty smooth.... :P) that the more we kp about someone, the more we do not see the faults and cracks of our own character. and ironically, we'll end up exactly as the other party whom we're urinating on.ERM. i meant the other party whom we're pissed off at.
oh wells. lets grow in whatever areas of our lives together.
it's a refinement.
not easy we all know.
and stagnant growth=no growth=dying.
guess i've been blessed (or cursed?) with many people around me who are dogmatic and idealistic and sometimes legalistic in nature.
it's a process that has sometimes encouraged me with their idealism to change this and impact that....
but it's also a process that has cheesed me off once too many times with their "my way is always correct" stance, and wanting others to join them in their passions and whatever they're currently at or on, (or their calling)...
maybe this is me too? for there is a saying "you are your worst enemy". and it can mean that the quirks and flaws we hate about the ppl around us, are the actual things in our own character that annoys others...
maybe this is a chance for me to grow in dealing with people of this erm, 'calibre'...
or it could also be that i should be as decisive as these ppl around me. i know i cheesed off many with my indecisiveness sometimes and i do know full well it's not helpful sometimes. i also know that it's something i need improvement on.
*looks up at text above on what i would rather appreciate you would have done...*
both ways.
it's not a single way street. and we need two hands to clap... (though we can also snap our fingers...... ;P )
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but i'm having mixed feelings too about what the next few months. in web. where am i? i felt so torn. so neither-here-nor-there.
i knew going for the adult sessions in the camp would benefit me (which it did... solid!) but during the camp i got to see the perspective that we can be encouragers in the ministry.
yup... but am i called here to serve?
i don't know. not yet at least.
and it will be pointless and defeating the purpose if we serve with no calling. this is a fact, im sure is pretty obvious...
but we see people coming and 'serve' every week. and they come to service juz to 'serve'... or rather they're on duty that week. but i digress.
GOD, be sovereign.
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