Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Post-attachment and Pre-year3 thoughts

The past few weeks was attachment. The next few months will be Year 3. My final (i hope) year in poly.

i guess the lessons i learnt (thru the hard way) will make me view life, and even myself a wee bit differently...

HE has really been such a faithful God. i guess my 7wks of attachment, He has really been there. so so so so thankful to a so so so so Cool God who's definitely not soso.

First off, a pretty good company. A little higher pay than my classmates.

second, little did i expect them to offer a FYP (final yr proj)! so... my fyp is secured earlier than the others! and to think i was fretting who should i approach to be my teammates... since i'm far from close with my classmates.

i guess it was these blessings that somehow motivated me throughout the few weeks.... cuz it IS true.... somehow, studying life is a lil more enjoyable than work life.

not that the job sucks... it was really good actually. the job scope fitted me! lab work and office work combined. i think i would have died-ed if it was office work. but, somehow, studying life has less stress on the mind and body. ok.. maybe not so much less stress, but a different type.

i guess having to work especially when it is such a small environment, and everyone's eyes are on you and how you do your work, gives me the nerves...... Gave me the nerves rather.

and i am so not used to being on my toes all the time. the contrary rather.. not that i do handstand all the time la :P maybe must go take up ballet... then will really be on my toes all the time :D NAH! i can not imagine myself doing ballet.



oh wells, it just wasnt a good feeling that my work revealed all my chao kuan. or rather, it was more obvious bah... and having to deal with (extremely, sometimes too extreme) high expectations....

i think i crumbled.

i guess it all revealed how flawed i am, how incompetent i really am. ....
oh wells.

time to work on each of them.


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and here comes my final poly year. Poly life is just so fast. (ok at this station in life for me la... later comes NS life, work life, retirement life etc....) but, yea lo.. it does feel like time is accelerated in this 3+ years.

so for new poly (or JC or ITE or private schs) students, make your poly life count. REALLY. make full use of every opportunity you have in your post-secondary life. esp when it comes to sharing His good news! You really won't have much time though graduation seems far! it ain't. and campus is the time where there will be more seekers in your sphere of friends. (ok thats just for me...)

i guess... starting and ending is easy. (though whether it is started or finished well is another thing :P )

and here i am in the first week of sch forgetting that there's no lesson today, simply cuz its the first week :P

and having all these ideas and hopes.
and saying things like "must make full use and opportunity of this year" since it IS my last opportunity to do anything.

but i know that darn tendency of mine to get distracted along the way.

oh wells. i hope this year wd be fruitful. I'm pretty sure it will be.
only if i am willing to allow Him to do so.
(then skarly later i go home, i see my fridge filled with nothing but fruits :D durian-apple-orange-mangosteen-pongpong-chilli-brinjal milkshake anyone? O.O.P.S )

but i really do hope that this year to see what and how he will change me. and even cf.
there HAS to be a purpose for putting us in wadeva circumstance or positions....

i guess many people + myself does feel anticipative (eh nic..got such word meh?) of what this year holds.


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