one year more.

one year more.
half way mark.

i never really did dread NS, nor really so sian as to enlist,
it's has always been.. just do lor..

so now my half way mark in NS.
i am not really excited that i am one year closer to ORD,
neither am i truly wanting to stay on in SAF.

but i guess, i see the one year mark, the half way point.
macham the 1.2km turning point for ippt.

anyways.. :D
it really is a good time to reflect.
and analyse...

one year has come since i enlisted.
and i guess is just filled with memories.

and ns will be that. full of memories.

but will it be just that? A time full of memories, which doesnt count for nothing?
a time where we imitate our superiors' mannerisms and doing sai kang?

one year. has gone.
one year to go.
and its this 22 months that the friendships will be at its optimum.
cuz not much effort needed.
just need to book in and all the ppl are there.

is it a time that is so transient?
i wonder what will the friendships be after.

will it be like 99.2567819% of all my friendships? which wane after the event/thing/ns life/sch life/camp/service/ministry is over?

oh well. that takes extra efffort.

but what will it count for?
what if it's just a time of sai kang, playing with dogs, doing more sai kang, duty,watching superior's moods, duty, watching peers' moods, duty, watching juniors'moods, duty, watching my moods, duty, suaning aston, hearing rumours and gossips floating around, imitating superiors, watching the clouds go by, watching the DOS drive by (during duty of cuz), looking under the stars at rrad and at seletar (during duty of cuz), wasting time till book out time, sleeping when there's work to be done, sleeping when there's no work to be done, training a little bit just to clear the ippt, and doing even more sai kang, and (of cuz), duty?

which will most probably be, or rather, already is.

what will the frienships become?
what will the impact my batch and i leave?
what will the questions in ppl's heart go to?
what will people see my saviour thru me? unfortunately... sad to say.. oh well.

will ppl see christianity as a relshp than a religion?
will i start to smoke? and the reason i choose not to smoke goes beyond spoiling your lungs and govt, urm, discouragement, and it also goes beyond "i hate smokers" cuz so many of my friends, they smoke.
so do i hate them cuz they smoke?

anyways.
what will this time be?

how can ideals and reality crash into one fluid masterpiece drawn by the Master Artist Himself?
cuz it's His to do.

and i realise in the recent grad bs.. that when we proclaim or do bs..
we just want ppl to know Christ. like wad john 21 said.
not just to see His works, but to know Christ Himself.

whatever will be, will be.
controlled by Him.

one year more to right the things within me, and hope this time counts.