Listening absence.

MUFHU

my utmost for His highest la..

im sure many people are doing this devo too....

but im pretty thankful i got this bk, given to me....
almost everyday it sorta speaks to me pretty relevantly... mostly to how we serve Him, and ministry (or ministries for some of us)....

yesterday's and today's are especially true and relevant for me at this point of time.

in summary, don't worship your work to God, and don't desire 'spiritual success'. sucess defined as "success measured by, and patterned after, the form set by this religious age in which we now live". like how many converts u got lah, how tight an event turned out, how many ppl raise hands during rally, etc....

great reminder.

just wondering hor, why..........

we had CCA drive the past 3 days....

so cf being cf, we gave out "bookmarks" which served as gospel tracts.....

and seeing all the reactions by different people was pretty interesting...
quite a number of people, seeing our bright yellow "Polytechnic Christian Fellowship" banner, just siamed......

so as we gave out there were mostly 3 responses:
~ pause to see what's it all about, then ask "ehh, what club is this har?"
~ just take and go...
~ just never take and go...

so it was interesting when there was this guy, who took it, then gave it back...."sorry, i am antiChrist. :) "

which made me wonder leh....
why ah... got such term called 'antiChrist', but no such terms like 'antiBuddha', 'antiMohammad', 'antiSaibaba', or even 'anti-atheism' :D

The Truth is jarring. makes peoples' ears ache.

Post-attachment and Pre-year3 thoughts

The past few weeks was attachment. The next few months will be Year 3. My final (i hope) year in poly.

i guess the lessons i learnt (thru the hard way) will make me view life, and even myself a wee bit differently...

HE has really been such a faithful God. i guess my 7wks of attachment, He has really been there. so so so so thankful to a so so so so Cool God who's definitely not soso.

First off, a pretty good company. A little higher pay than my classmates.

second, little did i expect them to offer a FYP (final yr proj)! so... my fyp is secured earlier than the others! and to think i was fretting who should i approach to be my teammates... since i'm far from close with my classmates.

i guess it was these blessings that somehow motivated me throughout the few weeks.... cuz it IS true.... somehow, studying life is a lil more enjoyable than work life.

not that the job sucks... it was really good actually. the job scope fitted me! lab work and office work combined. i think i would have died-ed if it was office work. but, somehow, studying life has less stress on the mind and body. ok.. maybe not so much less stress, but a different type.

i guess having to work especially when it is such a small environment, and everyone's eyes are on you and how you do your work, gives me the nerves...... Gave me the nerves rather.

and i am so not used to being on my toes all the time. the contrary rather.. not that i do handstand all the time la :P maybe must go take up ballet... then will really be on my toes all the time :D NAH! i can not imagine myself doing ballet.



oh wells, it just wasnt a good feeling that my work revealed all my chao kuan. or rather, it was more obvious bah... and having to deal with (extremely, sometimes too extreme) high expectations....

i think i crumbled.

i guess it all revealed how flawed i am, how incompetent i really am. ....
oh wells.

time to work on each of them.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and here comes my final poly year. Poly life is just so fast. (ok at this station in life for me la... later comes NS life, work life, retirement life etc....) but, yea lo.. it does feel like time is accelerated in this 3+ years.

so for new poly (or JC or ITE or private schs) students, make your poly life count. REALLY. make full use of every opportunity you have in your post-secondary life. esp when it comes to sharing His good news! You really won't have much time though graduation seems far! it ain't. and campus is the time where there will be more seekers in your sphere of friends. (ok thats just for me...)

i guess... starting and ending is easy. (though whether it is started or finished well is another thing :P )

and here i am in the first week of sch forgetting that there's no lesson today, simply cuz its the first week :P

and having all these ideas and hopes.
and saying things like "must make full use and opportunity of this year" since it IS my last opportunity to do anything.

but i know that darn tendency of mine to get distracted along the way.

oh wells. i hope this year wd be fruitful. I'm pretty sure it will be.
only if i am willing to allow Him to do so.
(then skarly later i go home, i see my fridge filled with nothing but fruits :D durian-apple-orange-mangosteen-pongpong-chilli-brinjal milkshake anyone? O.O.P.S )

but i really do hope that this year to see what and how he will change me. and even cf.
there HAS to be a purpose for putting us in wadeva circumstance or positions....

i guess many people + myself does feel anticipative (eh nic..got such word meh?) of what this year holds.

i am a Christian.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I'm clean living'."
I'm whispering, "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

got this from someone's blog, who got it from an email.

probably will be using multiply more now.
www.nicrome.multiply.com

tho, i doubt i will update as often now... wasnt often in the first place.
so less often of lesser often, means not often. which is not really frequently, and not hourly either. by the minute? nah.. later kena arrested for overblogging and a nuisance on the web community.. just send virus to all u ppl, and juz write some politically challenging, and racist thing here..

and of course download stuff by the terabytes, and make sure i get noticed by the govt.


ok.


what did i just type???
don't get it?
neither do i leh :P:P

short-circuited.

tactful. not yet there. :(

tactfulness.

say right things.
at right time.

if not, silence really is golden....

i am sorry.

we all are on a journey....
tho of course i made a fool of myself, and felt kinda stupid after that, but....
it's a journey for meself....

Prov 17:27-28
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

was thinking on Ps 127 this wk.
Unless He.
We. In Vain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thankfulness...
i guess it is another journey for all of us...

on my previous post... yea i am thankful for my attachment AKA itp.

but i wonder, was it because it was easy to do so? a convenient thing, cuz it's all rosy and a good start?

do i forget that ending well is also important... and that i seldom do?

it was easy for me, cuz it was convenient i guess...

but will i CHOOSE to serve thankfully when it doesnt seem to be thankful-able? when things just seem to be on a routine, which isn't really fruitful, and nearly directionless? when it seems that there will not be anything done?

i guess, this thought process will bring me no where.

i shall choose to. but will i?

ranting bout it on and on neither helps to, as it leads to a complaining heart.. which will make us look and focus on the wrong things... cuz our aperture ain't big enough... and maybe also our shutter speed not fast enough to capture everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this isn't a sad post, really. im not emotional now.. much the contrary rather... :D it's just the reflections of my week...

hmm... i guess reflections (or convictions frm Him) will just remain that, if we choose not to do anything bout our own drawbacks.

cuz we're still all on this journey.

"it's a nong nong journey"

:D

thankful

i am thankful.

that i was placed at a pretty good attachment company.
though it's far from my home.

but it's pretty good..

was complaining when i first saw how much i was gonna be paid (a few months back) but then i realised i got more than most of my classmates...
(though of course there's that nagging thought that the biz sch people get much higher! heh, are bankers and accountants rly more skill-ded than chemists??? ;P HAHAHA jk! )
so.. yea, i AM very thankful! to Him of course...

colleagues all friendly ppl (there're only 4...)
fun attachment partner... who's a fellow believer too!
interesting job scope, rather than sai kang like filing etc. thankful for that.... though of course, it gets stressful as my boss/supt briefs us on our projects.

high expectations which i doubt i can exceed and excel.
i never did, of any expectations thrust on me.
never excelled.


back to the topic of my allowance... i wonder why sometimes i tend to complain for the sake (not sahkae :D ) of it.
some of us will of course say it's therapeutic.

it's therapeutic to complain and whine and kp and kp and complain and whine.
with of course very polite and civilised language.
VERY.

some say it's therapeutic because it allows us to thrash it out and vent it out...

is it really?

or do we just want to?
we choose to actually.

oh wells, i think thankfulness is a better therapy!

give thanks in a complaining society.
and while we're at it, why not give thanks for the complaining society you're in...

it's true leh!
(as if we didn't know that)

but we choose not to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ps im also thankful for last week.

quite eventful cny wk.
went ubin on thurs and had a potluck on fri....

ubin becuz God rly answered our prayers and provided the perfect weather for the 6 of us.
potluck cuz of the great FOOD! yum :D:D:D


click on the words to check out the fotos! :D

transitions

they always say that our lives' transitions are little tests of faith.

and it seems like almost everyone i know now is going through some sort of transition in church.
the webs now have their wgs streamlined and re-shuffled. transition
the people closer to me in church are those in my age-group (who're 19-20) are now moving from web to rays. transitions
and for others, IDT. transitions
new age group, new cell groups, new timings, new clashes, new experience, new prorities???

and i wonder if like the many before, we'll fall away at such a time.
and i am really concerned for certain bros and sisters of mine who may have been strong once, but now because of all these... .....
and for myself too.
what if i one day go away?
what if one day i choose to give up this marathon?
what if one day i just choose to take it easy?

i realised that circumstances don't cause us to fall away, or sin for that matter.
but we choose to. it is a deliberate and we will like to think of it as a rational bo pian circumstancial choice we have made well.
we choose to fall away.
we choose to sin.
and it's a choice people will surely say "eeyur of course don't want lah". but we know the outcomes..........

quote of day : "If circumstances find us in God, we'll find God in our circumstances"

an understatement of The Love of God

i like songs laden with rich lyrics.
i guess it really is an understatement...

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes
beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair,
bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He
reconciled
And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fil
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade

To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whol
Though stretched from sky to sky

Hallelujah (3x)

O love of
God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore
endure
The saints' and angels' song

song here in my multiply...